APRIL TDM

[recollecters]

TEST DRIVE

APRIL TEST DRIVE The city of Recollé. A beautiful city you've called home for quite some time. While things can be a little weird, isn't that true of all homes? It's fully spring now, and there are flowers to be found everywhere. April's showers are a familiarity as well, the occasional downpour or drizzle keeping you on your toes. What will you do today? I. April showers bring May flowers, right? Well, there are already plenty of flowers to be had, but that part of the old rhyme being true doesn't save you from the first part of it. While the weather forecasters do their best, their success rate for predicting the rain seems to be about fifty-fifty. Unfortunately, sometimes when they do predict the rain happening, they misjudge how bad it's going to be. Was the sky was clear when you last looked outside? It may not be quite so clear now. Hope you remembered to bring an umbrella today. But it's not so bad, really! Maybe if you forgot to prepare, someone will share their umbrella with you. Not in the mood to talk to anyone? You can probably find some thrifty umbrella vendors on the streets of Tisse. When in doubt, there are always some loaner umbrellas scattered around in Apprassage at the Recollé Library as well. The library asks that you return any of the mismatched loaners found at the door, but it's not like the system is that strongly enforced. Well, other than the library stamp on the umbrellas, that is. If you find yourself in Chata today, you could always buy a magazine off the street corners to hold overhead. If you look like you may buy something, vendors don't seem to mind if you idle under their awnings. Check out the latest fashions coming this spring while you wait it out. It looks like buckles are in, but some of the high fashion clothes look a little odder than usual. The hot, new dresses range from large like a billowing tarp to appearing more like an artfully arranged handkerchief than anything else. Fashion sure is weird sometimes. II. Recollé Square in Tribunal Terrace boasts a huge assortment of flower gardens scattered throughout the district, though they all appear to be whatever citizens felt like planting at the time. In fact, only flowers in Apprassage seem to match, especially around the University. Today, while the rain's stopped, a large group of people seem to be taking advantage of Recollé Square's mismatching for flower picking, crown and wreath weaving, and bouquet arranging. The activities seem to be loosely led by the city's PTA and some of the other socialite groups from around town. Then again, for long-standing citizens of the city this isn't unusual either. You seem to remember that this is an annual sort of thing even though there isn't actually a name for the event. Some booths are set up around the park to swap seeds, flowers and food for cash or gossip, the guidelines a little more loose outside of the business districts. It seems as though lot of families are picnicking this weekend. There's even some kind of contest going on for the best flower crown - though usually the city tends to collectively pick a kid for the winner, so your best artistic talents might not get you the admiration you crave. In addition, there's the most accurately judged flower-growing contest if you've been waiting for this day for a year or more, but that event tends to have the same people involved every year and the majority of Recollé isn't too heavily invested in it. They're here for the picnics and flower crowns, and it seems about the same as it always does. This year, though, there do seem to be more flowers than ever...and for that matter, they're a lot bigger than usual, too. III. Despite some of the fashion fiascos the magazines are displaying, maybe you should spend some time shopping this week. It may come as a surprise to you that your clothes haven't been fitting properly as of late. Those skinny jeans are just a hair too loose, and your favorite shirt seems baggier than it used to be. The problem, however, is that every shop you go to seems to stock clothes with the same issues. You're down a size or two or three, or maybe they're just marking everything down wrong. And surely you don't have the time or money to replace your entire wardrobe...will you take your chances? Complain to the store's manager? Or maybe you're an unfortunate soul who has to try and explain the unexplainable. Maybe offering a coupon will appease shoppers today. IV. Apparently walking around your neighborhood isn't quite as safe as it used to be - or it isn't safe if you want to trust your eyes. One second the little old lady who lives at the corner appears to be walking her pitbull just as she has every day for the last several years. The next, the pitbull is gone and she's walking a rather angry-looking caterpillar. Blink and you'll miss it, but as time goes on you'll see more and more of these larger-than-life insects wandering around. No matter how hard you try to explain it, the only other people who seem to see this as the least bit weird are people with the Retrospec app. Oh, do you not have the Retrospec app? Think again. The sound of chirping crickets will follow you until the next time you look at your mobile device or a public computer, prompting you to accept a profile and upload a user picture. Congratulations! It seems as though you've been selected to be a new tester! ...it's going to be one of those days. BONUS. While the Retrospec app only infrequently has posts from the company itself - and those have thus far proven to be universally useless - this month there is an onslaught of updates. At least once per day there's a picture of a new type of flower or insect, along with a "fun fact" about whatever the company has posted. Did you know, for example, that wasps feeding on fermenting juice have been known to get "drunk' and pass out? Ancient civilizations burned aster leaves to ward off evil spirits. Ticks can grow from the size of a grain of rice to the size of a marble. Roses are related to apples, raspberries, cherries, peaches, plums, nectarines, pears and almonds. Houseflies find sugar with their feet, which are 10 million times more sensitive than human tongues. Praying mantises prey on other insects, and perhaps you'd better watch your step. Wait, what? As usual, any attempt to get the company to reply about the increasingly disturbing information they're sending out is useless. The daily facts grow less and less useful and eventually seem to be nothing but fun facts about how flowers and bugs could kill you or one another. Kind of unfortunate for you, if this is your first time getting any messages whatsoever from the app. How do you unsubscribe? Good luck figuring it out. Welcome to the recolle test drive meme! All characters will be begin in-game AU'd as Recollé residents. You may use any of the above prompts for ideas or make up your own depicting your Recollé AU! Prompts do not have to be set in the districts listed above. You can review our list of locations for what's available. Please note that TDM threads can be used as samples, can be kept as game canon, and can also be used for bonus points for future item regains. Share a few minor details of your AU, tag around, and have fun! The April 2017 TDM directory can be found here. The April 2017 Workshop can be found here. The mod questions comment is here.

Comments

Aradia Megido ("Ami Aihara") | Homestuck

[livingdeadgirl]

[Meet Ami Aihara, an 8th-grade mall goth who's way too perky about creepy shit (and also everything else). You might (but more likely don't) recognize her from Youtube, where she runs a modestly-followed makeup channel, "AATuts."
(She has a much older sister who's something of a legendary hellion and might or might not be in jail. We don't talk about her sister.)]

III. a.

[Some girls Ami's age might be pleased to discover their clothes are a little too big. But Ami was a little underweight to begin with, and buying half your wardrobe at Hot Topic isn't cheap, okay, so this development is more a pain in the ass than anything else.

On the upside, though, her parents are pretty liberal about her use of their credit card, and have given her permission to spend a certain amount of money on new stuff. Back-to-school shopping has come a bit early this year I guess. So while it's not uncommon to see her browsing the stalls at Hot Topic, this time she actually intends to buy! WOW

So, were you looking at that blouse/tee/choker? Is it the last one they have in that style? Or are you just a fellow HT regular and want to say hi, that works too, go wild]

III. b.

Ami Aihara earlier today near Tisse

UGHHH. show of hands, who here haaaaates trying to decipher the undying riddle of girls' clothes sizes? *raises both hands emphatically!!!*

IV.

Ami Aihara shared a photo. a few minutes ago near Recollé

you can see this, right? tell me what is wrong with this picture.

iiib.

[sotenbori]

Goro Majima It's honestly one of the biggest mysteries of the world

lmao and i was gonna have her correct it too

[livingdeadgirl]

Ami Aihara guys don't have to deal with that, do they? it's based on your actual measurements or something sensible like that.

im a failure but i slid in just in time i guess gomen

[sotenbori]

Goro Majima Yeah, guys clothes are easy it's the fucking dresses every time. Do they just throw darts to decide what number to put on them?

[dresses...for the girls...the girls at his club]

i'll get you next time, gadget

[livingdeadgirl]

Ami Aihara yes, that is exactly what they do. you have figured out the mystery

[a few seconds later though]

Ami Aihara should I be asking why you know so much about dress shopping? I mean I'm not gonna judge your lifestyle or anything, but it's a little suspicious

honestly yes probably

[sotenbori]

Goro Majima It's not suspicious! I have to make sure the girls at my club have nice things to wear. There's nothing weird about it.

[which is not to say that he wouldn't rock a dress, just, know you.]

in other news i need to finish drawing icons so i can have some actual nuance of expression

[livingdeadgirl]

Ami Aihara your club?

[you know part of me wants context for that screenshot but on some level i feel like the Yakuza games must be experienced]

iv

[vitis]

John Becket hahaha that's great
as much as i like dogs a giant pet mantis would be way better at pest control

[livingdeadgirl]

Ami Aihara I guess, but that's not really the issue here... I should probably clarify that this image is not photoshopped

[vitis]

John Becket that's the best part

saw a huge slug earlier, made a real mess of the street
you can't say it doesn't liven things up a bit round here

[livingdeadgirl]

[i mean... HE'S NOT WRONG...]

Ami Aihara well yeah that goes without saying... and they seem mostly harmless. the mantis is currently chasing its tail, I think.

but where does it stop? maybe tomorrow we'll wake up to find we have been conquered by 300 ft tall insects. the mantis has bitten off the head of the cowboy statue at the park. the slug has crushed most of lodo and slimed the rest

our only hope for salvation rests in the development of a salt bomb and also a whole lotta raid

[vitis]

[ that gets a chuckle out of him. ]

John Becket that's almost cute. you think it can play dead and roll-over too?

yeah reckon some raid and a salt bomb oughta do the trick
but then maybe the raid'll just succeed in evolving pesticide resistant pests :) then we really might be doomed

hopefully you've gleaned some useful survivor tips from these "fun facts"

[livingdeadgirl]

Ami Aihara maybe? would playing dead involve removing its own head? I'm pretty sure that's the principal cause of death for mantises (mantii?)

If by survivor tips you mean "nuke it from orbit" then yeah sure. But it also gave me some recipes so there's that. (if you don't mind surviving on a diet of enormous grubs fried in their own fat anyway, *barf*)

iv

[hjack69]

that guys sense of color coordination being total crap?
who does a friggin fuschia shirt w a navy blue suit

[livingdeadgirl]

that guy, apparently.

iiia. I'M HERE NOW I SWEAR

[frostythehitman]

[ James doesn't have much of a budget to spend, so this is a rare occasion when he's actually in Hot Topic with intention to buy something. In this particular case, he spotted a nice leather (probably fake, but let him have it) choker with spikes--simple and classic, yet somehow missing from James's collection.

He reaches out to grab the last one on the shelf only to notice that, as he lays his hand on it, his hand is overlapping with someone else's reaching for the same item. He follows the arm down to a small girl and, dammit, he wants the choker, but his dad taught him to be a gentleman.

He lifts his hand off the choker. ]

Hey, if you want it, you can have it. I'm not about to fight you for it.

[livingdeadgirl]

Oh! [Of course, Ami got surprised and pulled her hand away, too, so now nobody is reaching for the choker.]

No, it's okay, go for it! I was just looking.

[frostythehitman]

[ No, damn it. He's going to be a GODDAMN GENTLEMAN and you're going to FUCKING LIKE IT. He will not back down. ]

No, please. Uh, ladies first.

[ He waves his hands for her to take the choker. ]

[livingdeadgirl]

[Well, this is awkward. She seriously was just looking - her style tends to lean more toward lolita than hard rock, more ribbons and black lace than chains and spikes. (Not that it's easy to tell right now, since she decided an ill-fitting band-logo t-shirt would be less obvious than an ill-fitting fitted blouse.) But it'll be more awkward if she insists on backing down...

So, okay, mister Big Goddamn Gentleman, you win. She goes ahead and picks up the choker, and holds it up to her throat for a general idea of how it would look.]

What do you think? [says she as if a complete stranger's opinion has any real bearing on her fashion choices. But hey, he's friendly, so why not?]

[frostythehitman]

[ He crosses his arms as if he's about to be critical but there's no trace of malice in his expression. ]

Looks good. ...It goes well with the shirt. It's one of those statement pieces--it's strong enough that it can stand on its own without needing any other accessories.

[ James is not really one to know anything about fashion, really, but when you have to go for an aesthetic, you learn a few things here and there. ]

IV

[true_noir]

When you teach an animal to heel, it is supposed to be on the right side, and not the left. Clearly he needs to train his walking murder machine better.

[...no, she knew good and god-damned well what was wrong with that picture, and she wasn't going to admit it right off the bat. At this point, playing off such weirdness as blase almost felt like a way to flip off Retrospec.

This was clearly their fault.]

[livingdeadgirl]

Ami Aihara you know, all anybody had to say here was "it's a giant freaking praying mantis on a leash," i'm just putting that out there.
but sure, your answer works too.

[true_noir]

Chloe Bouchard This is true, but at this point I am growing accustomed to giant chickens taking the place of horses.
Chloe Bouchard Oranges now smile and dance at me, which makes screwdrivers hard to create and bananas very tempting.
Chloe Bouchard At this point, a giant preying mantis on a leash almost feels "expected."
Chloe Bouchard I am still waiting for the frogs of the world to turn blue with white tuffs, ever since I saw it in a picture.

Chloe Bouchard Did you just get the app, out of curiosity?
Chloe Bouchard If so, you have my sympathies.

[livingdeadgirl]

[a pause. this uh... may or may not be the first time she's noticed the changes.]

Ami Aihara wait what the heck
that is really weird! when did this happen?
I mean, now I remember that they're not supposed to be like that, but up until a second ago I thought they had always been that way
holy crap, that's messed up

[true_noir]

[Baby's first steps in the wonderful world of Retrospec. Chloe couldn't help but feel some definite sympathy there. She allowed herself one little chuckle and then sighed, shaking her head. It really wasn't funny anymore.]

Chloe Bouchard It started on Founder's Day or around it, back in late January.
Chloe Bouchard That was when this fool app started appearing on our phones.
Chloe Bouchard If you just received the app, though, you might want to sit down.
Chloe Bouchard There's a lot to take in, I'm afraid, and I don't want to overwhelm you.