repeter | JUNE TDM

TEST DRIVE

JUNE TEST DRIVE
The city of Recollé. The kids are out for the summer and the weather's just fine. The sun's shining brightly, not a cloud in the clear gray sky. Everything seems at peace and citizens are out and about, smiling to one another and enjoying each other's company.

Oh, and this thing (complete with cardboard cut-out) has currently taken the place of the founders' statues in Recollé Square. But that's probably not a big deal.

What will you do today?

I.
What is this thing? Why is this thing here? For those of you in Tribunal Terrace today you may wish to investigate the five-foot-tall spinning wheel. How did it even get here? And where did the statues of the founders go? Even if you cannot answer those questions, it's hard to ignore the urge to give it a spin.

Check out those colors go 'round and 'round. Depending on what number you land on, you will find a notification pop up on your phone with a short list of…words. Are these supposed to be qualifications? Weird. That was a waste of time.

However, the moment you walk away you will find yourself accosted by various recruiters wherever you go, congratulating you on your impressive resumé and leading you to an office in Chata. Their offices have been equipped with tabletop-sized spinning wheels much like the one in Recollé Square that will spin 'round and 'round, determining the position you qualify for. Are you ready to show how these traits make you the perfect applicant? It looks like you have time to consult with your fellow candidates before your turn comes.

Or perhaps you've managed to resist spinning that wheel. The recruiters absolutely love your willpower and determination and want you to join their team! For those who can resist, they will still find themselves whisked away by recruiters to the same office and thrown straight into training to prepare for interviewing their neighbors. Recruiters will set up pairs of interviewers and applicants, leaving them alone to ask the hard-hitting questions and pick the most qualified candidate. Do your best and beat out the rest! It's your time to shine.

II.
Just because school is out for the summer doesn't mean Apparassage is quiet. Students and faculty alike are bustling about already preparing for the next school year. Campus tours of Recollé University run every two hours, and there are open house tours of the local elementary, middle and high school. Perhaps you're a future student exploring the campus and getting to know your future classmates. Maybe you're faculty or a student guide wrangling the kids and keeping them in line. Or you just might be one of the unfortunate ones who have found yourself with six weeks of summer school.

However, no matter where you find yourself in this district things get a little tricky when you're ready to leave for the day. The sidewalks outside of the buildings have all disintegrated, revealing a large void leading to nowhere beneath your feet. Without a clear path it seems impossible to escape, but stacked at the entrances of every doorway are large tiles with the letters of the alphabet carefully printed on them. When you look across the devoid path, you may notice you have a partner in a similar position with their own stack of letters.

Get ready to expand your vocabulary. Building a bridge of connecting words may be your only chance of getting home before sunset. Strangely, as the letters are laid out they seem to suspend mid-air enough to hold your weight as you make your way carefully across this pit. Balance and precision are key in this game. The stack floats along behind you as you cross the void, letters seemingly adding to the pile to provide more materials to build.

But like all games, there can be only one winner. Those who clear their letters first will arrive outside of the district safely, free now to come and go as they please. For those who do not clear their stack in time, you might have luck jumping from word to word to cross the finish line. Try as you might, if this is the method you follow, the moment you land on the winning word to leave the district the letters will glitch out, sending you plummeting into the void and landing on a long slope down to the bottom. Upon landing, you will see a series of chutes and ladders one can use to climb back up. Some ladders lead back to Apparassage. Some lead straight into Tisse, and some even lead to unexpected places. Where will you end up? The journey is up to you now.

III.
The days are longer, the nights are shorter, the sun is shining and it's noticeably warmer. Isn't it a perfect time for a summer potluck? The citizens of Recollé seem to think so and have all gathered today in Hollingberry Field with friends and loved ones to share food and fun. Kids chase after each other in friendly games of tag and hide-and-seek while other attendants mingle with one another, piling plates of food and sharing with their neighbor.

Why, even Mayor Mayer is out today for this summer kickoff with his lovely red Chocobo, Seabiscuit.

As the evening begins to wind down, however, there's a startled cry from the Mayor as he realizes someone has kidnapped his beloved pet from right under his nose. Was it you? How about you? Everyone has become a suspect and it's up to you to solve whodunnit. The Mayor provides everyone with a pen and a pad of paper divided into three sections for a suspect, a method, and a location. Grab a friend (or even a group of strangers) and get ready to interrogate each other to crack this case.

(With a little looking, however, it's easy to see that Seabiscuit's merely wandered down the hill away from the park. But maybe it's better not to tell the Mayor. He seems very adamant about this game.)

For anyone who manages to solve the case, the Mayor will be immensely grateful and reward you with a valuable prize! Congratulations! However, for anyone who fails to solve the puzzle, or even anyone found guilty of this heinous crime, by order of the Mayor you will be subjected to jail time for a full half an hour. (The Mayor can't stay too mad at his citizens. He loves them all.)

IV.
A nice, leisurely stroll through the entertainment district of Tisse seems to be in order. Summer sales are aplenty and now's the perfect time to shop 'til you drop. On the other hand, that doesn't seem to be the only thing dropping in Tisse. Do you hear that? Perhaps it is easy to ignore the sounds of stone crashing to the ground. Construction isn't unusual in this district. You think maybe you passed an ongoing demolition on your way inside a shop. But the crash happens again, and again, and again, a loud string of booms growing closer and closer.

Are those buildings tipping into one another? Or is it your imagination? You may not have time to answer while the string of events is put into motion. A crane swings overhead, knocking into a well-placed boulder that begins to roll down the street. Cranes, pulleys and wires move in sync as the ball rolls right toward you. Will you run? Will you collide right into the next set of traps? You may recall learning about this type of experiment once upon a time, coming to realize the elaborately planned Rube Goldberg machine spans the entirety of the city.

Maybe you're one of the lucky ones and you find a safe shop to dive into to escape. Or perhaps your sole focus is to run and get as far as you can, failing to notice that the large boulder herds you right to the end of the district and into a caged-in area. Make yourself comfortable. Someone from the outside will have to free you. But hey, maybe you aren't alone in this trap. Misery loves company, doesn't it?

BONUS.
The Retrospec app is at it again, just as useless as it's always been. After downloading to your device and allowing you to upload a profile picture, the app seems to take over your phone. Any time you open your phone to use it, a splash screen appears prompting you to pick one of the brightly colored wedges (or one of the two grayed out ones.)

It's time to exercise your brain and buff your trivia stats. Answering a question from your selected category will allow you to use your phone once again, but if you get it wrong? Retrospec will encourage you not to give up and try again.

...or, you know, you could ask someone to help figure out the answer. Hey, that person looks like they're bursting with knowledge! Perhaps it's best to see if they can help you stop this madness.

As usual, any attempt to get the company to reply are futile. Once a question has been answered correctly, phones will return to their usual functionality until the next time it settles into idle mode.

Welcome to the

recolle test drive meme! All characters will be begin in-game AU'd as Recollé residents. You may use any of the above prompts for ideas or make up your own depicting your Recollé AU! Prompts do not have to be set in the districts listed above. You can review our list of locations for what's available. Please note that TDM threads can be used as samples, can be kept as game canon, and can also be used for bonus points for future item regains. Share a few minor details of your AU, tag around, and have fun!

Your June TDM directory is here, and your AU workshop is here!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

But why would you want to eat me?

[ He looks at her like she has two heads. ]

First of all, I'm not very satisfying if I'm made of metal. And I probably don't taste very good. And then one day when you need me the most, you'll have to go to the hardware store to pick up a new one.

I think we should just take eating me off the table. But I will pour you a beer. Another one?

Are you going to finish the one I already poured you?

[Silly Emil, she's a troll, not a giant.] Hey, goats eat tin cans, I bet trolls aren't that picky either.

...So you run a tavern that's also a hardware store? I like it! Real handy. Actually, someone should open that in real life. [Drunk hardware use, now that's a great idea.]

I drank it already! I'm a troll, I got great tolerance. Another! [She waves with a flourish.] Hey, so what's your hardware-tavern like?

[ What, how is he supposed to know? He mimes pouring her another pint, but this time he gets out a fake boot to pour it into, a really big one, and hopefully that will satisfy her. ]

It's... big. Big enough for giants sometimes! And everything's decorated with antlers. And reindeer fur.

We get a lot of guests in the summer, because we get a lot of sunlight. Travelers love the ale.

Um, and once a witch tried to curse us?

Sounds neat as hell! What kinda hardware do you got? Like, can I build a birdhouse while I'm drinking.

[She doesn't pretend to drink the beer, mostly because she's too busy talking, but she has no idea what the boot motion is supposed to be. Oh well!] Woah, woah, there's witches now? I'm a troll, I don't know if I like that.

Magic is some bullshit, anyway. [Still doesn't know what a mage is]

Well yeah, but it's a roleplay, right?

Um, so magic exists here?

But I guess if she wasn't successful, maybe she wasn't a very good witch.

[ Um ]

Ah, I don't know what other hardware we have, maybe a screwdriver? But you'll have to cut down your own wood if you want to build a birdhouse.

Yeah, I guess. But it's still bullshit.

[That is her using her imagination to determine that it is bs, don't you see, Emil??]

Maybe you smacked her with a hammer. Speaking of, I'm gonna need an axe to chop that wood down! You sell any axes?

[She is gonna build the best damn birdhouse this tavern has ever seen, and then you can hang it in your window. Genius.]

Of course we sell axes, we're a tavern that serves trolls and giants.

[ He goes over to a wall and acts as if considering which one he'd like to try out for her, and then picks a "few" off the wall. ]

You know what they say though, it's not the troll that picks the axe but the axe that picks the troll.

[ You stole that from Ollivander's ]

[Sigrun snaps her fingers] Now that's customer service! Good job, barmaid!

[Luckily for Emil, Sig is too old for Harry Potter, so she cannot call him out on his line-stealing. Instead she looks at these axes, then stands up and... proceeds to start miming swinging them around wildly.]

[No one ever give her a real axe, for the love of god] Hey, I like this one! Nice and hefty, haha.

[ He's ducking and the axes aren't even real. But she seems pretty deadly with them, regardless. He definitely does not want to meet her in a dark alley after a few drinks, that's for sure. ]

Yeah, do you want to try it out on a tree outside? We've got plenty, but...

It's $20 to cut one down!

[ Hey, he's running a business here ]

[Probably for the best to be honest, Emil. She balks at that price tag though! Outrageous!!]

Hey, hey! Trees belong to nature, how can you put a price tag on that?

[Nevermind they're on his "property" and this is a totally normal thing to do, like a Christmas tree...]

How about this, I'll build you some furniture, if I can chop them down for free. Huh? Great business deal, or what?

No thanks, I've already got a furniture maker in the back, and I'm a wrench!

It's twenty dollars a tree.

[ He fluffs up his chest, clearly proud of this assertion of business. ]

And cutting down trees doesn't fall under allemansrätten, you should know that!

What!? Get him out here, I'll fight him for it! [She's a troll! With a club.]

[She opens her mouth, about to ask about the wrench thing but just ...closes it again. Wrench? Like a skiftenøkkel, right?? Uh--]

We're in America. [Her mouth twists but alright fine, take her ~~monopoly~~ fake money!! She mimes slamming it down on his bartop.] Twisting my arm, we'll see! What if I just build another bar! Right next to yours!

Edited 2017-06-28 03:04 (UTC)

You could, but you'd have to buy the property from me first, and I'm charging 1 million kronor a square meter. I mean dollars A million dollars a square... uh...

Foot? A square foot!

[ He looks very stern about this ]

We own all the land for a couple hundred acres, you'll do better to just pay the twenty dollars.

JUNE TDM

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