repeter | APRIL TDM

APRIL TDM

TEST DRIVE

APRIL TEST DRIVE
The city of Recollé. A beautiful city you've called home for quite some time. While things can be a little weird, isn't that true of all homes? It's fully spring now, and there are flowers to be found everywhere. April's showers are a familiarity as well, the occasional downpour or drizzle keeping you on your toes.

What will you do today?

I.
April showers bring May flowers, right? Well, there are already plenty of flowers to be had, but that part of the old rhyme being true doesn't save you from the first part of it. While the weather forecasters do their best, their success rate for predicting the rain seems to be about fifty-fifty. Unfortunately, sometimes when they do predict the rain happening, they misjudge how bad it's going to be. Was the sky was clear when you last looked outside? It may not be quite so clear now. Hope you remembered to bring an umbrella today.

But it's not so bad, really! Maybe if you forgot to prepare, someone will share their umbrella with you. Not in the mood to talk to anyone? You can probably find some thrifty umbrella vendors on the streets of Tisse. When in doubt, there are always some loaner umbrellas scattered around in Apprassage at the Recollé Library as well. The library asks that you return any of the mismatched loaners found at the door, but it's not like the system is that strongly enforced. Well, other than the library stamp on the umbrellas, that is.

If you find yourself in Chata today, you could always buy a magazine off the street corners to hold overhead. If you look like you may buy something, vendors don't seem to mind if you idle under their awnings. Check out the latest fashions coming this spring while you wait it out. It looks like buckles are in, but some of the high fashion clothes look a little odder than usual. The hot, new dresses range from large like a billowing tarp to appearing more like an artfully arranged handkerchief than anything else. Fashion sure is weird sometimes.

II.
Recollé Square in Tribunal Terrace boasts a huge assortment of flower gardens scattered throughout the district, though they all appear to be whatever citizens felt like planting at the time. In fact, only flowers in Apprassage seem to match, especially around the University. Today, while the rain's stopped, a large group of people seem to be taking advantage of Recollé Square's mismatching for flower picking, crown and wreath weaving, and bouquet arranging. The activities seem to be loosely led by the city's PTA and some of the other socialite groups from around town. Then again, for long-standing citizens of the city this isn't unusual either. You seem to remember that this is an annual sort of thing even though there isn't actually a name for the event.

Some booths are set up around the park to swap seeds, flowers and food for cash or gossip, the guidelines a little more loose outside of the business districts. It seems as though lot of families are picnicking this weekend. There's even some kind of contest going on for the best flower crown - though usually the city tends to collectively pick a kid for the winner, so your best artistic talents might not get you the admiration you crave.

In addition, there's the most accurately judged flower-growing contest if you've been waiting for this day for a year or more, but that event tends to have the same people involved every year and the majority of Recollé isn't too heavily invested in it. They're here for the picnics and flower crowns, and it seems about the same as it always does. This year, though, there do seem to be more flowers than ever...and for that matter, they're a lot bigger than usual, too.

III.
Despite some of the fashion fiascos the magazines are displaying, maybe you should spend some time shopping this week. It may come as a surprise to you that your clothes haven't been fitting properly as of late. Those skinny jeans are just a hair too loose, and your favorite shirt seems baggier than it used to be. The problem, however, is that every shop you go to seems to stock clothes with the same issues. You're down a size or two or three, or maybe they're just marking everything down wrong. And surely you don't have the time or money to replace your entire wardrobe...will you take your chances? Complain to the store's manager? Or maybe you're an unfortunate soul who has to try and explain the unexplainable. Maybe offering a coupon will appease shoppers today.

IV.
Apparently walking around your neighborhood isn't quite as safe as it used to be - or it isn't safe if you want to trust your eyes. One second the little old lady who lives at the corner appears to be walking her pitbull just as she has every day for the last several years. The next, the pitbull is gone and she's walking a rather angry-looking caterpillar. Blink and you'll miss it, but as time goes on you'll see more and more of these larger-than-life insects wandering around. No matter how hard you try to explain it, the only other people who seem to see this as the least bit weird are people with the Retrospec app.

Oh, do you not have the Retrospec app? Think again. The sound of chirping crickets will follow you until the next time you look at your mobile device or a public computer, prompting you to accept a profile and upload a user picture. Congratulations! It seems as though you've been selected to be a new tester!

...it's going to be one of those days.

BONUS.
While the Retrospec app only infrequently has posts from the company itself - and those have thus far proven to be universally useless - this month there is an onslaught of updates. At least once per day there's a picture of a new type of flower or insect, along with a "fun fact" about whatever the company has posted.

Did you know, for example, that wasps feeding on fermenting juice have been known to get "drunk' and pass out? Ancient civilizations burned aster leaves to ward off evil spirits. Ticks can grow from the size of a grain of rice to the size of a marble. Roses are related to apples, raspberries, cherries, peaches, plums, nectarines, pears and almonds. Houseflies find sugar with their feet, which are 10 million times more sensitive than human tongues. Praying mantises prey on other insects, and perhaps you'd better watch your step.

Wait, what?

As usual, any attempt to get the company to reply about the increasingly disturbing information they're sending out is useless. The daily facts grow less and less useful and eventually seem to be nothing but fun facts about how flowers and bugs could kill you or one another. Kind of unfortunate for you, if this is your first time getting any messages whatsoever from the app. How do you unsubscribe? Good luck figuring it out.

Welcome to the

recolle test drive meme! All characters will be begin in-game AU'd as Recollé residents. You may use any of the above prompts for ideas or make up your own depicting your Recollé AU! Prompts do not have to be set in the districts listed above. You can review our list of locations for what's available. Please note that TDM threads can be used as samples, can be kept as game canon, and can also be used for bonus points for future item regains. Share a few minor details of your AU, tag around, and have fun! The April 2017 TDM directory can be found here. The April 2017 Workshop can be found here. The mod questions comment is here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Heyyyyyy, how 'bout you do me a solid and just - I dunno! Drop that file down a garbage disposal or something. Because that would be super cool. Might even make you my new bestie.

But yeah, sure. Gimme fifteen. You'll know me when you see me.

[ CLICK. No, he doesn't offer any, you know, explanation of what he means by that, or a description of his car, or what he'll be wearing, or... well, pretty much anything. Surely he can't be that weird though, right?

Except depending on who gets there first, Rhys is either going to run into some jackass on a motorcycle idling around and checking his watch impatiently, or have said jackass pull up. The aforementioned jackass is also in a beat up leather jacket and cringing away from a woman walking her spider.

Look at your life, Rhys. Look at your choices. ]

[ Yeahhhhh Rhys isn't tossing that file. As much as he hates his job he doesn't actually want to get fired from it because nothing says failure on a resume like burning a bridge with the IRS. The file comes with him and gets tossed in a messenger bag rather than his brief case because he figures today is going to be...pretty informal, all things considered.

He calls into the office to let them know he's meeting up with his original appointment today (and not that it's to talk about horses, fruit without faces, or dogs that turn into spiders) before he heads down. Jack is already there when he arrives and at first Rhys lets his gaze pan over him. He's expecting some sort of car, maybe a taxi? But there's no one in any of the parked vehicles on the meter. In fact there's just one person, and before he thinks oh, that must be Mr. Dawes it clicks that he knows this guy. At least, he's pretty sure he knows him. He looks familiar, but... ]

...Jack?

[ Or "The Man Of Your Dreams" as he'd so eloquently put it at the bar the night they'd run into one another. Memorable for the scar, but mostly his over-the-top personality and oversized ego.

Rhys had been into it at the time. Still maybe is? He's not sure. ]

Jack. It's you, isn't it?

[ God, that night. Jack doesn't remember all of it, but he remembers enough to recognize Rhys' face instantly - this is that cute accountant he ended up macking on at the bar that one night, isn't it? R... uh. Rick? Ronald? Ross? Rachel? Joey? ]

Reese's pieces! [ That was the cute name of the night, he's pretty sure. Jack's got his helmet under his arm, but he sets it on the seat to stroll over and offer his hand. ] Rhys Summers, right? Thought you were an "accountant", sweetheart.

[ Insta-charm going on here. Schmoozing is back up to 100%. ]

[ The awful, sad part of this is that even when he knows that Jack is not as charming in hindsight...in the moment it's actually really magnetic and that Jack actually remembers his name sends some happy little part of his chest tingling away as he reaches out with a grin that's perhaps just a bit too pleased and shakes the guy's hand.

Weird to shake the hand of a guy you made out with, but alright. ~~Rhys hasn't made the connection at all.~~ ]

I...yeah, heh. [ Did he tell Jack his last name? He can't remember. That sounds like something he would do. ] I mean-- [ snap out of it, god. He's not that nice to look at?? ]

Sorry. I mean yes. [Technically he squares away numbers just like they do! It counts. ] I'm out of the office today on call, no suit. Definitely not playing hooky no matter what it looks like.

[ s c o r e. The brief fumble has Jack smiling wider, purposefully warmer - even a fuzzy caterpillar ambling by can't dent this oh-so-charming look. (Even if he steps out of its way because oh my god gross.) ]

Pretty sure the kind of accountant I'm thinking of is supposed to manage your money, not take it away. [ For dumb stuff like public education or whatever. Lame. He's teasing, though, tugging off his gloves. ] Maybe next time I'll get to see you in a suit, huh?

[ There is a painful amount of subtlety going on rn. Totally. He shrugs towards the bike though, brows raised. ]

Didn't tell you I had a bike either, right? We can stick to coffee if you don't ride. My place isn't far from here either, if you still want a drink.

[

]

[ The sad part is that "Mister John Dawes"'s case file doesn't actually come with a photo, and Rhys knows the man in front of him as "Jack" and he seriously hasn't made the connection that they are one in the same. To him this whole thing reads out as,

Oh hey, its that guy from the bar. He's so full of himself but he is really nice to look at. Yes please I would like to hop on that bike and get behind you for what seems to be a midday hookup, but alas I am waiting for some IRS Nightmare From Hell to show up and talk to me about mutant spiders. Raincheck? ]

W, like--like right now? [ Rhys is caught off guard by what he thinks is just a super blunt invitation to continue where they left off at the bar, blinking as his pulse catches a little in his throat. A giddy sort of feeling churns in his stomach because he likes attention as much as the next guy, and he isn't usually the one people default to for a quick hookup because of...a lot of reasons, but yeah. ]

I can't--I mean, I would love to?? Or like to. I would like to. But I'm sort of waiting for someone already. Not that kind of someone. A client.

[ God if he hadn't told Jack he was an accountant beforehand that would sound really awkward and weird to him. ]

[ A beat. ]

Yeah, hon, I know.

[ dot dot dot. He looks ridiculously amused though, just, y'know. Waiting. ]

You're auditing me this year.

Auditing??

[ Rhys isn't auditing him, he didn't even get this guy's phone number when they parted ways after...god, how did they part ways? All he remembers is some making out, him not being nearly as smooth as he wished he'd been, and being about three drinks in when they'd met.

Good times. Also entirely unrelated.

He's not auditing Jack, he's waiting for John Dawes who is already late, no surprise there, what would you expect from...from... ]

Wait--how did you know I'm an agent??

[ He explicitly told him accountant. Accountant, to avoid the horror his life becomes when people know what he does for a living. Rhys is sure he didn't let that slip when they kinda-sorta made out a bit. The only way he'd know that was if...

no ]

[ No????? ]

[ Oh my god, is this really--?? Catman Dawes is Jack?

The moment realization dawns on Rhys is like watching a train wreck in slow motion. There's incredulousness, disbelief, wry amusement, "waaait....", "oh no", and holy shit all in that order, working their way across his face as the colour both drains and flushes to his face and wow can you be turned off and embarrassed as all hell that your old-man bar-crush saw you be an idiot all at once? Is that a thing? Rhys thinks it's a thing. ]

You're Catman Dawes?!

[ DOT DOT FUCKING DOT

There has never been a mood killed quite this fast. Never. Even when they started stabbing Caesar, the party mood probably survived at least .5 seconds longer than this one does when Rhys opens his mouth. That ~suave~ "hey let's go back to my place for a booty call and me trying to get out of taxes" smile drops off his face like a fucking rock, and then he's just staring. ]

Catman??

[ Look.

Look. ]

Oh my god. [ Rhys actually murmurs that under his breath, openly gawking at this guy like h o l y s h i t. ]

You're him. You're actually him. [ The universe officially wants him miserable, there's no other explanation. It thrives on his misery and without Rhys to suffer the world would succumb to some horrible fate not unlike what he is currently experiencing right now. ]

You claimed your cats at dependants. Your cats.

[ rhys u lil sonuvabitch ]

They're dependent on me to stay alive, so.

[ Y e a h. This is weird now. ]

Wow, kiddo, never had someone kill a mood so fast. Anybody ever tell you you've got a talent?

That's not what dependants are on a 1040?? Like everyone knows th--no, nope. I am not doing this today. [ THIS IS RHYS. Pinching the bridge of his nose. ]

Let's just get it out here that when it comes to mood-killing you definitely win. You win by a long shot. Like ten years of misfiled paperwork and accounting long. Like not telling me your real name when we first met long.

[ He would never have macked on Jack if he knew he was Catman Dawes?????? ]

Jesus, I can't believe I let an IRS agent stick his tongue in my mouth. I probably have gingivitis now? Thanks?

[ This is officially the worst thing ever. Jack covers his eyes with his hand, groaning - people are probably looking at them weird now, considering both of them look totally exasperated, but this is a big deal okay. ]

And my name is Jack, alright? Just - don't call me John, my grandma calls me John. And she used to beat me while calling me John. So.

[ You bet he is exactly the kind of guy to throw out a background of abuse just to get his way. ughhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ]

Are we talking about giant bugs or not?

[ JACK YOU ARE LITERAL HUMAN GARBAGE like what is Rhys even supposed to do with that information except look taken back by it and totally unsure of what?? To do with that??? Like the way Jack just tosses it in out of nowhere makes him uncertain if it's fact or just something he's throwing in there for dramatic effect.

He decides to focus on the parts all that that aren't...that. ]

...I don't have gingivitis. But yeah sure, giant bugs. That's totally what I want to talk about right now. Like top ten on my list of things I would love to be doing, right above getting teeth pulled and catching polio.

Of course you don't! Betcha got great dental!

[ SO THERE however that was meant to be insulting. So there. God this went from afternoon delite to "why me" in a flat ten seconds why do these things happen, he doesn't deserve this. ]

Aren't all IRS agents supposed to be fat and weird-looking? I swear to god, if you're the guy I blew in the bar bathroom a while back, I'm gonna hurl.

[ So not only does he just throw out traumatic shit, he also vomits TMI like nobody's business. Congrats, Rhys, this is your new client. ]

[ ........oh jack. Jack. Rhys just gives him that Lin face when the subject of his dental is brought up (he does have amazing dental), unable to believe that this is the man he almost went on a booty call with. Like wow is that illusion s h a t t e r e d something fierce.

And that's before Jack just blurts out the rest of that. ]

..........................

I don't even know where to begin with that.

[ Rhys wants a refund on the last hour of his life please????? ]

[ Still this face. This face into eternity. ]

I make bad decisions, okay. That's what bars are for. [ Yes. To be a total human dumpster fire. ] I seriously cannot believe I was going to give you the good tequila and let you touch my hair. I'm giving Rosalind all the good shit from now on.

[ Surprise, he hits on the teacher you also hit on. Their combined lives are more terrible for all the people they have in common. ]

[ He has known Jack (properly) for all five minutes and he's already ruining his life. And Rhys would be a lot more upset about this if there weren't a bunch of Rosalinds in the city and right now Rhys can just assume that it's not his teacher who he actually had a decent time with at the flower festival. ]

Why would I want to touch your hair?

Because it's great? [ OBVIOUSLY?? RHYS??? Holy crap this kid. How can he not see the absolute greatness that is Jack Dawes' hair. Now he presses both hands over his eyes, groaning loud and obnoxiously. ] Ughhhhh why did I take your call? I could be at home having pizza and watching The Real Housewives right now, but no. I'm here.

Outside.

With you.

I called to cancel our meeting today if you'll recall. You were the one who wanted to...to schmooze and bribe me, and now I totally see why!

[ It actually is great hair but Rhys isn't going to let himself oggle Jack until later, when he's a safe distance from the asshole aura Jack is projecting over his entire beautiful day!! ]

No one in their right mind would want to spend more than three seconds with you when you're... [ VAGUE GESTURES ] You.

APRIL TDM

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rachel omg j a c k

IT'S CLOSE... ISH........... also i'm sorry for this entire tag

you have made my entire evening

i'm so glad and your rhys is so great, also 1/2

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oh my gosh thank you he's such a loser lmf 1/a bil

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finito

CATMAN DAWES I'M DYING

MY WORK HERE IS DONE also bbl im outie for a bit

1/2

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES I CAN'T

TELL ME JACK WOULDN'T LOVE TRASHY TV THOUGH

it's so perfect, this whole thread is perfect

probably legit the most trainwrecky thread i've done in this game to date, CONGRATS

I TRY, THANK YOU

god thank you for this thread again, it's perfect :')

bless YOU i think you mean this was the greatest thing