Recollé Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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repeter2017-04-16 09:01 pm
recollecters) wrote in repeter2017-04-16 09:01 pm
APRIL TDM
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APRIL TEST DRIVE The city of Recollé. A beautiful city you've called home for quite some time. While things can be a little weird, isn't that true of all homes? It's fully spring now, and there are flowers to be found everywhere. April's showers are a familiarity as well, the occasional downpour or drizzle keeping you on your toes. What will you do today? I. April showers bring May flowers, right? Well, there are already plenty of flowers to be had, but that part of the old rhyme being true doesn't save you from the first part of it. While the weather forecasters do their best, their success rate for predicting the rain seems to be about fifty-fifty. Unfortunately, sometimes when they do predict the rain happening, they misjudge how bad it's going to be. Was the sky was clear when you last looked outside? It may not be quite so clear now. Hope you remembered to bring an umbrella today. But it's not so bad, really! Maybe if you forgot to prepare, someone will share their umbrella with you. Not in the mood to talk to anyone? You can probably find some thrifty umbrella vendors on the streets of Tisse. When in doubt, there are always some loaner umbrellas scattered around in Apprassage at the Recollé Library as well. The library asks that you return any of the mismatched loaners found at the door, but it's not like the system is that strongly enforced. Well, other than the library stamp on the umbrellas, that is. If you find yourself in Chata today, you could always buy a magazine off the street corners to hold overhead. If you look like you may buy something, vendors don't seem to mind if you idle under their awnings. Check out the latest fashions coming this spring while you wait it out. It looks like buckles are in, but some of the high fashion clothes look a little odder than usual. The hot, new dresses range from large like a billowing tarp to appearing more like an artfully arranged handkerchief than anything else. Fashion sure is weird sometimes. II. Recollé Square in Tribunal Terrace boasts a huge assortment of flower gardens scattered throughout the district, though they all appear to be whatever citizens felt like planting at the time. In fact, only flowers in Apprassage seem to match, especially around the University. Today, while the rain's stopped, a large group of people seem to be taking advantage of Recollé Square's mismatching for flower picking, crown and wreath weaving, and bouquet arranging. The activities seem to be loosely led by the city's PTA and some of the other socialite groups from around town. Then again, for long-standing citizens of the city this isn't unusual either. You seem to remember that this is an annual sort of thing even though there isn't actually a name for the event. Some booths are set up around the park to swap seeds, flowers and food for cash or gossip, the guidelines a little more loose outside of the business districts. It seems as though lot of families are picnicking this weekend. There's even some kind of contest going on for the best flower crown - though usually the city tends to collectively pick a kid for the winner, so your best artistic talents might not get you the admiration you crave. In addition, there's the most accurately judged flower-growing contest if you've been waiting for this day for a year or more, but that event tends to have the same people involved every year and the majority of Recollé isn't too heavily invested in it. They're here for the picnics and flower crowns, and it seems about the same as it always does. This year, though, there do seem to be more flowers than ever...and for that matter, they're a lot bigger than usual, too. III. Despite some of the fashion fiascos the magazines are displaying, maybe you should spend some time shopping this week. It may come as a surprise to you that your clothes haven't been fitting properly as of late. Those skinny jeans are just a hair too loose, and your favorite shirt seems baggier than it used to be. The problem, however, is that every shop you go to seems to stock clothes with the same issues. You're down a size or two or three, or maybe they're just marking everything down wrong. And surely you don't have the time or money to replace your entire wardrobe...will you take your chances? Complain to the store's manager? Or maybe you're an unfortunate soul who has to try and explain the unexplainable. Maybe offering a coupon will appease shoppers today. IV. Apparently walking around your neighborhood isn't quite as safe as it used to be - or it isn't safe if you want to trust your eyes. One second the little old lady who lives at the corner appears to be walking her pitbull just as she has every day for the last several years. The next, the pitbull is gone and she's walking a rather angry-looking caterpillar. Blink and you'll miss it, but as time goes on you'll see more and more of these larger-than-life insects wandering around. No matter how hard you try to explain it, the only other people who seem to see this as the least bit weird are people with the Retrospec app. Oh, do you not have the Retrospec app? Think again. The sound of chirping crickets will follow you until the next time you look at your mobile device or a public computer, prompting you to accept a profile and upload a user picture. Congratulations! It seems as though you've been selected to be a new tester! ...it's going to be one of those days. BONUS. While the Retrospec app only infrequently has posts from the company itself - and those have thus far proven to be universally useless - this month there is an onslaught of updates. At least once per day there's a picture of a new type of flower or insect, along with a "fun fact" about whatever the company has posted. Did you know, for example, that wasps feeding on fermenting juice have been known to get "drunk' and pass out? Ancient civilizations burned aster leaves to ward off evil spirits. Ticks can grow from the size of a grain of rice to the size of a marble. Roses are related to apples, raspberries, cherries, peaches, plums, nectarines, pears and almonds. Houseflies find sugar with their feet, which are 10 million times more sensitive than human tongues. Praying mantises prey on other insects, and perhaps you'd better watch your step. Wait, what? As usual, any attempt to get the company to reply about the increasingly disturbing information they're sending out is useless. The daily facts grow less and less useful and eventually seem to be nothing but fun facts about how flowers and bugs could kill you or one another. Kind of unfortunate for you, if this is your first time getting any messages whatsoever from the app. How do you unsubscribe? Good luck figuring it out. Welcome to the recolle test drive meme! All characters will be begin in-game AU'd as Recollé residents. You may use any of the above prompts for ideas or make up your own depicting your Recollé AU! Prompts do not have to be set in the districts listed above. You can review our list of locations for what's available. Please note that TDM threads can be used as samples, can be kept as game canon, and can also be used for bonus points for future item regains. Share a few minor details of your AU, tag around, and have fun!
The April 2017 TDM directory can be found here. The April 2017 Workshop can be found here. The mod questions comment is here. |
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Fuck off, Baren. It was a Jaguar!
[ He's super proud of this. The owner was an ass.
POINTS AT BAREN!!! ]
And for the last time, it's Misaki! [ beat ] Wait, no. That's Officer Yata to you! And you're coming with me!
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[he was making a joke
but behold Yata Is the Joke.]
And... what - you're asking me out now to make yourself feel better? You're not really my type, you know? I told you that if you really wanted, you could come with me to a party and I could actually find you someone so you don't die a virgin.
[ . . .
the last thought was supposed to stay in his head but instead it went right to his mouth
but he doesn't look sorry either]
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anyway HANDS TO FACE. THIS IS NOT WHAT HE CAME FOR. ]
That's not— I'm not— Well, I— Argh!
You know, I! I could get a girlfriend if I wanted to! But that's not the point!
[ baren's not going to let him say more is he ]
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Cute and really fucking stupid which is why Baren's cracking up. Laughing right in Yata's face.
And then he's going to go ahead and reach for Yata's hand. Not for that gay shit but using the sharpie to start writing a number on his palm.]
There's this model I work with. She's an absolute sweetheart. Nice family, obviously she's cute as a button - not even into anything super weird. It'll be like Dating 101. Training wheels and everything.
Just uh - you know, don't bring her to any place with fire and you'll be fiiiine.
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[ what is happening
that tickles but what is happening ]
No! I don't want— Huh?! Y-y-you can't just give some rando a girl's number!
[ Also the mere thought of even having a woman's number is making him blush. Now he actually has one, he's lowkey losing it. Oh god. Oh no. He's not calling this number, that's stupid. Baren's stupid!!! STOP LAUGHING.
But Yata's not pulling his hand away or trying to rub the ink off... so. ]
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but Baren tilts his head at that - ] Well, I think she was trying to get at me... but she's - you know, really nice?
[like he just said
he is apparently not into that. so he gestures at Yata's palm]
Nice girl needs a [gestures to Yata] nice guy to have a [bigger gesture with both arms to a general waving motion] nice life where you move to the suburbs and have some average to below-average intelligence but good-looking kids and I dunno, get a hamster or some domestic shit.
[ . . . ]
Yeah, that's about what I expect from you.
[why does he sound bored now]
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Yata gives Baren the darkest of glares and clenches his fist. ]
Hey!
[ There's a pregnant pause, and it begs one to wonder what Yata might have taken offense to. Sure, his goals might not be great to someone like Baren, but... ]
My kids will be smart and beautiful.
[ he could at least get them right??? god ]
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there's an opening here that he cannot resist and it's just]
You do know how babies are made, right?
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gets his radio ]
We got a 594 on Willow Street—
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And Officer Yata's doing a great job, has it all covered! We're all very proud of him. In fact, we think that he should definitely be upgraded from parking duty. Such talent, going to waste on a smart cars! C'mon, at least let him guide traffic or something! Give the guy a whistle.
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Get off!
[ Turns off the radio, too. If he can't get promoted in the next few years, this is why. There are a lot of other factors, but it's easy to say Baren is number one. ]
First the crickets, now you. Would it hurt ya to quit it for once? I thought we got over drawing horns in the 3rd grade!
'Sides, I got better things to do than you and parking duty.
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He also thinks that he deserves so many points for not asking if Yata's Better Things to Do involve the girl whose number he just got.
But Baren's made up of shitty jokes and nonsense about 70% of the time. His curiosity is piqued here and he tilts his head.]
Are you asking me as Missy or Officer Yata? Because you know, Officer Yata, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be quitting at all. My agent asked me to pull a publicity stunt and this is the first one that came to mind.
[a lie, baren's whole life is a publicity stunt but anyway - ]
But I'm curious what Missy's up to. You actually have something interesting? Or are you just saying that?
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It's Misaki! And ha! I'm not full of shit like you. [ He jerks a thumb at himself. ] This Yata's after a bigger case. A bigger mystery! You know how people's dogs have been turning into bugs lately? And how no one can find a shirt their size?
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[but he's not even going to deny that he's full of shit so
except well... admittedly Baren's listening now. good to know that this isn't just him seeing these things]
You mean even though no one else is finding it weird? Or going through the same issues with clothes? Or still don't know what I'm saying when I talk about horses? Can you fucking believe I forgot about horses until today?
[horses he was trained in horseback riding he actually can't let that go in particular]
I'm decently impressed you noticed, Misamisa.
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[ BUT GO AHEAD AND CALL HIM DUMB, HE'LL BE HAVING THE LAST LAUGH... WHEN HE PUTS BAREN BEHIND BARS!!! ]
Ugh, the horses are another thing, too... I mean chocobos are awesome and all, but this is like... the erasure of an entire species! It's like replacing whales with Godzilla. Which is, okay, cool, but what the fuck! I love whales, man. Whoever's doing this, they can't just make us forget they exist!
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and baren can't pass up every joke so he just mutters under his breath]
Save the Whales 2k17....
[moving on:]
But hey, Hot Fuzz, cool it. Or else you'll get yourself worked up over shit that doesn't even matter right now? Godzilla's not taking a lap in the ocean just yet.
1/3
[ beat ]
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I just hope everyone believes me.
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[he says, so cheerfully]
But who gives a shit, right? You know what's true and you're not alone in seeing it, so it's not like I gotta take you to the psych ward or anything. So whether or not people actually buy into what you say...
[he waves his hand carelessly]
Can't win 'em all, anyway. Just do what you want.
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Yata so badly wants brownie points from the higher ups, but Baren has a point here. Whether or not they believe him, he knows what he saw. He's not going to let anyone tell him otherwise. Huh! This actually makes a lot of sense.
Not that he'd tell Baren any of this. ]
You're pretty carefree, aincha?
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What was your first clue?
[He shrugs and smiles - sincerely. It's hard to tell when Baren switches between truths and lies, but this is something he genuinely believes.]
Trying to change other people's minds is a waste of time. That's all.
[Followed quickly by:]
Besides, they're mostly all idiots anyway. So who cares what monkeys think?
1/2
Hehe, yeah—
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