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Entry tags:

! event,
! tdm

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EVENT + TDM

PREMISE • RULES • FAQ • TAKEN • RESERVES • APPLICATIONS
REGAINS • HIATUS/DROPS • PLOT SUBMISSIONS • CALENDAR • MOD CONTACT • NAV

I. - CURRENT PLAYERS + TDMERS
It's been days since the firewall took over the city of Recollé. The heat is still present even in mid-January and though the wall has consumed much of the outer edges of the city, the buildings and innerworkings of each district are unaffected and still standing tall. Firefighters are working endlessly to try and put out the flames and combat the issue, but the flames only begin to lessen as Retrospec users work together to curb the fire and stop it from spreadng.

This might be the time to jump in and help. Previously, you may have tried to help and found your efforts futile. Those new to the app may even have found themselves thinking the flames were best left to the professionals once the assessment was made that there would be minimal damage. However, there seems to be a power tied to that new app on your phone. Should you attempt to help put out the flames, your efforts shall be rewarded and a pathway will open into a tunnel of fire with a series of doors spread before you.

With many of you finding your way through the firewall and unlocking the doors within, progress is being made to wear down the security measures. Points in the wall will begin to crumble under touch alone and rows and rows of doors begin to appear. The flames are starting to die down outside, but it becomes clear that it's not just a few chambers you must explore. Several thousands of doors are scattered amongst the flames waiting for you to approach. Luckily you won't have to open all of them. The silver doors loom in the distance, but thanks to the efforts of the last two weeks, identifying the doors is much easier than before.

While several of the doors that have been opened are easy to navigate, users will come to find that as they approach a new door an error message will appear and block the path to the door. These messages will not appear on doors that do not contain keys, though this pattern may not be obvious at first. Sometimes the messages will appear just by walking in any of the cardinal directions inside the fire tunnel, popping up right in front of your face and forcing you to walk straight into them. These pop-ups can be dismantled via physical force or magic, though you may wish to be careful. Anyone who directly touches these messages will find themselves…multiplying? Oh dear. Two, three, or even four copies of yourself will appear and begin to wander off not only in the tunnels but back through the wall and out in the city of Recollé. Users who are split apart will have to round up all versions of themselves to become whole again, and the clones themselves will be more than happy to wander as they please, posing as you and attempting to deter others from progressing. Good luck getting them to stop.

II. - CURRENT PLAYERS + TDMERS
The pop-ups aren't the only issue users will begin to experience the longer they linger in the wall. As Retrospec users continue navigating these routes and clearing the paths needed to break down the firewall, things begin to grow a little more difficult to manage. Though the passages of the doors appear to be fine and users can enter new areas to obtain keys, it seems as though there's something bigger that wants to stop the progress occurring.

Users with Retrospec-given abilities will find difficulty in using their powers in ways they've never experienced before. Superstrength gives out after two seconds while shapeshifting will leave you stuck in that form for three days. Magic is on the fritz and spells will backfire, kicking back and damaging yourself for every spell you attempt to use. A small ball of light will escape your fingertips, draining you of your abilities and gifting them to someone else temporarily (though they won't know how to control them the way you do.) The trouble with it all is that no method is the same, and even if you experience a glitch once an outside force will change the consequences so they do not repeat.

You may think to check your phone for answers. Can you Google how to fix your own powers? While a search engine won't be of any use, users will find that the Retrospec app's logo has a new, upgraded appearance. Five of the eight inner petals have will appear gray in color while the remaining three are untouched. A sixth petal is colored halfway in. Should a user activate the app while in the city, they will find that everything around them will pause in a freezeframe. Birds will stop mid-flight, cars will be stopped in the middle of intersections, firehoses will have frozen arches of water aimed to the flames…everything is perfectly still save for other users.

As for those who activate the app inside the firewall, time will become fluid and change around you. Everything seems to move at hyperspeed, actions on fast-forward and time skipping ahead. Your actions will also be at the speed of light, and should you manage to accomplish your goals inside the wall and beyond the doors, a return to the city will show that much more time has passed than you anticipated. Hours or even days have escaped you even if it felt like no time at all.

With some trial and error, users can discover that a hard reset of their phone and re-opening the app will undo these effects. However, it may not be so easy seeing how the app will appear and disappear intermittently. Be quick; you may miss it if you blink.

III. - CURRENT PLAYERS ONLY
It seems a bit suspicious that Retrospec's gone quiet throughout all of this, doesn't it. There hasn't been word from the company since Joanne's last message about the firewall, and as usual any attempt to contact the company is futile. The message from delta#02018329 on the 13th was the last form of communication from anyone tied to Retrospec and since then all has been quiet. The animal guides from before are hard at work helping users discover new paths and find the keys, knowing they need to work quickly.

On the 24th, the firewall begins coming down in large chunks, falling away and shattering into embers when destroyed by an established user. The wall reveals the lines of doors surrounding the city and as of this date the temperature begins to drop again. Good job, users. You've almost fully dismantled the blockade. However, the wall isn't finished yet.

Beginning on this day as well, established users will become public enemy number one for the operator of the wall. A string of bad luck begins to follow you in an attempt to deter you from finishing your task of destroying this wall. Ranging from small feats such as misplacing your phone to larger feats such as removing all doors and windows from a building you're in, these attempts can be easily broken with enough willpower or simply waiting it out. For the truly unlucky, even NPCs will grow suspicious of you and begin to question you, asking you what's changed about you and why you and only you are the one who can put out the flames when the fire department has been working so hard.

Most importantly, however, are the small showers of green sparks that will appear over the city, sprinkling on you from overhead and dousing you in an invisible sheen. An equally invisible force feels as though it's pulling you down quickly despite standing in one place, and when the feeling passes…well. You may wonder what this strange app is on your phone and why you have it. It's new, isn't it? Wonder what it could be. You've never heard of Retrospec before, you think, but it can't be that interesting.

Perhaps you haven't slipped that far. You may be one of those who finds yourself with gaps in your memory, or items on-hand you don't quite recall having before. Images will flash through your mind even if you can't pinpoint where you've experienced these things before. And, of course, there's the fact that you may even literally slip between layers in the city, entering a door in the firewall and falling down into a plain white room. This washed-out castle-esque hall will make navigation difficult as the doorway to return blends into the walls. It only takes a trick of jogging your memory and recalling your true purpose to outline the door. What does it mean to jog your memory? This can be anything from sharing a memory you don't understand to showing off an item or ability and brainstorming its purpose. You will only understand the truth and remember everything upon leaving this castle, but until then? Time to brainstorm.

IV. - TDMERS ONLY
It's a little alarming to suddenly wake up and have a brand new app on your phone that connects you to a special group of people, isn't it? This may not be what you were expecting, but the Retrospec app seems harmless even if it's a bit unusual. With the power necessary to help combat the flames, perhaps you're the type who isn't even worried about what's happening. There's a job to do, after all.

Upon opening the app for the first time though you'll receive a message from a user named Z.C.

You're probably confused right now and I get it, this is really confusing. I was confused, too. But you have to be on-guard. Looks like you're a fresh target.

That's an ominous warning, and yet nothing comes from it for several days. In fact, it isn't until the 25th that those words hold some weight. It seems that there's someone out there who doesn't feel like you belong. No matter where you stand or what's happening for you at that given moment, at the stroke of midnight a large crater will open beneath you and swallow you whole, sending you straight down. The fall feels endless but as you land you'll find yourself standing on barren, gray ground surrounded by a black night sky, spiderweb cracks spreading from the center and moving outward. The world around you is dark and above you you can hear the sounds of the city and the people in it. The sounds of your fellow app-users combatting the wall of fire and even some of the ongoings of what's happening to them beyond the doors echo in this dark chamber.

The space around you is dead. There isn't a single sign of life sans what looks like a large, 80-foot whale skeleton. Even that appears abandoned, though there are footprints in the dirt near the creature's mouth. You aren't the first to arrive, but getting back will be the trick of it all. Someone wants you hidden away, but finding a clever way to reach out to those in the layer beyond will grant you an exit. Shouting, throwing items on hand, anything you can think of to create a diversion and draw attention to yourself may help. The louder you are, the thicker the cracks in the sky grow. It'll take a combination of people working below and people working above to break this barrier. Don't be afraid to reach out. It may be your only way back home.

BONUS.
The firewall gave a good effort, but in the end the power behind the Retrospec users was too much to sustain it for long…or was it? On the 31st the rest of the firewall seems to crumble and turn into smoke and ash as though the force holding it up cut its losses and quit. Several wolf-shaped figures appear from the smoke and surround the city, spreading ash as far as the eye can see before running off in the direction of Magatus. A sharp crackling noise like glass shattering rings through your ears and the wall and the layer below disappear for good. Congratulations, users. It seems as though you've broken down the barriers standing in your way.

However…there's still the matter of all of this ash and dust to take care of. Grab a broom, a dustbuster or a friend. It's time to do some major clean-up on the city and get it back to normal.

For those who venture to Tisse though, looking up to the very top of the towers will show a set of windows that have been dark and dimmed for several months. As the night wears on, however, the lights begin to flicker on until the entire floor is lit. There isn't any way up to the top of the building just yet, but for every light that comes on it seems that the amount of ash lessens. Is there a correlation? Or is it just someone from above helping you out? Only time will tell.

NOTES.
Welcome to

recolle's January event part two!

All characters who are TDMing will be begin in-game AU'd as Recollé residents. You may use any of the above prompts for ideas or make up your own depicting your Recollé AU! Prompts do not have to be set in the districts listed above. You can review our list of locations for what's available. Please note that TDM threads can be used as samples, can be kept as game canon, and can also be used for bonus points for future item regains. Share a few minor details of your AU, tag around, and have fun!

If you are TDMing this round, please indicate this by including TDM in your subject line! This will help the playerbase know who is who.

As indicated in the link above for prompt 2, if you would like us to generate a key-tracking scenario for you please sign up at the comment on the first event log!

-For current players, you may claim multiple freebies from this log! These include:
-One freebie memory for threading with a character that is test-driving.
-One freebie memory for combatting the issues occurring in prompts 2+3
-One freebie memory for helping someone else combat the issues occurring in prompts 2+3
All of these threads must have at least five comments from you to be eligible. To submit for your freebie memories, please link us the appropriate thread with the trigger explanation of "freebie."

TDM characters who app in and are accepted before February are also eligible to claim this log's memory freebies! Like current players, please be sure to submit your freebie regain threads before the end of the AC period.

As a special note, we will also allow current players to use a thread from this event/TDM for their AC proofs! As this ties into a game-event, we are making an exception. However, your other proof(s) (at least ten comments) must come from sources outside of this log. Likewise, as this is an event log instead of just a standard TDM, you may use this log to trigger regains as normal.

Finally, be sure to check out January's AU workshop if you haven't yet! Any questions you have regarding this event may be directed to the mod comment here. Be sure to review the mods' question thread on the plotting post for additional information as well!

( coding by fleeting )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You make it sound like this is just the tip of the iceberg, Rean.

[ And she isn't sure how she feels about that, really. Regarding the fact that they had to run around to find copies of herself, and that she had to meet up with her brother in this sort of situation. They're both unnecessarily bad, in ways that makes her uncomfortable. Even if she tries so hard not to visibly show it.

But when he offers her a hand, she shakes her head, instead opting to get up on her own two feet with a bit of work, groaning a bit at how much of a mess she is. She is definitely going to need a nice long shower to stop feeling so. . . gross. ]

But if you're offering, you'll get me a slice of stawberry shortcake, then?

[ While she tended to have tomboyish tendencies, this was not one of them. ]

I wish I could tell you it wasn't.

[He sighs when she refuses his help, but there's not much he can do other than stuff his hands into his pockets.

They're both going to need long showers and maybe a session of screaming into a pillow after this, but that's for later. For now:]

Yeah, of course. Wouldn't have offered otherwise.

Come on.

[It's a big city, there's got to be a cafe serving strawberry shortcake somewhere around here. And lo and behold, after a bit more walking (sorry, Raina), there is.

Rean gets Raina seated at a table, then prepares to go order.]

Just the cake? Anything to drink?

[ To be fair to him, as much as she cares about him, she's still pretty concerned about what he said earlier. It kind of scares her a little bit, if he really would accept everything that she's hidden ever since she was little. Not to mention that she doesn't want him to see her trembling.

Just because they're siblings... It just doesn't seem like a good enough reason for her. But she doesn't voice that thought aloud as she follows him, although the quiet walk makes her mind go back into darker thoughts that she wishes would just simply disappear.

Spoilers: they don't, not even as they sit down and she wears a bit of a strained smile, not bothering to hide the exhaustion and stress in her face, which isn't just from chasing down all of her copies. ]

Well, if you're offering to pay for it... get me a chai latte. With whip.

[ While she doesn't like spending a lot herself, if her brother is going to treat her, she's going the full eighty miles with what she usually doesn't get when she's around others, if only because she didn't want to be seen as "too girly" for her tastes. ]

[Rean's quiet on the way over, as well. He, too, is wracking his brain as for how to go about this.

He needs to ask her about the app. He knows that, but that doesn't make it any less terrifying. Having it explained to him had been a wild ride, he's not sure he can even hope to get across half of what's going on...

...and then there's the matter of himself. Raina has a point, after all, about how little he's been calling home... he's even called himself out on it around friends, but it hurts more hearing it from her. Of course it does, he admonishes himself, after all, she's the one you're hurting. Some of it he can write off due to the app, but...

He's not so stupid to think she won't call him out on it. He's been on the app for two months and change, but he's been here for two years now. Two years, and what progress has he made? He doesn't want her to see this side of him, either. The side that's been struggling and floundering all along, desperately seeking a purpose in life he's just never found.

For now, though, he has a purpose, no matter how short lived. With a quirk of a smile, he gives her a little two-fingered salute before heading off. That's not a normal mannerism of his – rather, it's something he's picked up from a certain someone else, but he doesn't even think twice about it now.

After a couple of minutes of waiting up with the barista, Rean's heading back to the table. A chai latte with whip and a slice of strawberry shortcake for Raina, a green tea for himself. He sets her order in front of her before slipping into the seat across from her with a sigh.

Well, at least they're both exhausted.]

Enjoy.

[He takes a moment to collect himself before speaking up again.]

...I guess, since I'm the one who wanted to talk, I ought to be the one that starts this off. [...] Have you... noticed any strange new applications on your phone recently?

[ If there's something that Raina is good at, it's noticing a person's mannerisms and how they've changed, and that salute of his, which admittedly makes her chuckle under her breath a bit, is definitely new. It makes a part of her wonder if he's picked it up from somebody these past two years since he's left.

And that makes her worry just a little bit in concern.

It... has been two years. How much has he changed from the Rean that she used to know? There's already some subtle differences that she hasn't exactly brought up yet - specifically the fact that his eye color is decisively different from how she's known him and that makes her more than a little uneasy.

Thoughts like that run rampant in her head, unsure of what to actually say, or even address first; but when he comes back with the cake, telling her to enjoy, she smiles, but doesn't touch it when he speaks up again.

A new application? That makes her raise a brow for a moment as she runs a finger idly around the rim of her coffee cup before taking out her phone from her pocket, quickly unlocking it and lo and behold. There's the Retrospec app, which she shows him. ]

Do you mean this thing? I tried deleting it earlier, but. . . what about it?

[ Does it have something to do with why everything is weird here, is her unasked question. ]

[...Well. That is most definitely the Retrospec app. He feels his heart sink like a ball of ice when he recognizes that logo, but there's nothing that can be done about it.

He can't undo this. All he can do is move forward, relentlessly, and try to prepare her as best as he can.]

...It's about to make your life hell, like it has mine. [He sighs the words, unable to hide the way concern furrows his brows. But still, he knows he owes her more of an explanation with that.] I... listen. No matter how I explain this to you, it's going to sound crazy, but trust me, okay?

That app... that we have it now means our souls have synced up with a past version of ourselves from another world. They say the weird things that are happening to us now, that we're seeing now – the error message, the multiple yous, the wall of fire, I could go on – they've always been there, but it's only once our souls sync up that we actually notice.

So what just happened? There's no saying it won't happen again. There's no saying weirder or worse won't happen.

[ She takes a long sip of her latte as he seems to explain himself to her, taking it all in for a moment or two before he's done and she puts the cup back down on the table; surprisingly, she looks like she's taking this rather well - at least outwardly, as she rotates the cup between her hands, not looking at him as she speaks in a rather dull, distant tone. ]

You say 'past version' but what does that mean? Are we talking about reincarnation? Like we died before and now. . .

[ Now we're completely different people, having to go through this so called 'hell', she doesn't finish her sentence, leaving it up to his interpretation. ]

And by syncing up, like. . . are we becoming one with our past lives or am I reading too much into it?

[For his part, Rean's just glad she's not freaking out. Not that that's ever really been her style, but...]

...That's about the long and the short of it, from what I understand. On both counts.

Ever since I got the app, I've been remembering things about the person I used to be.

[He reaches up to remove his glasses – he can still make her out from across the table, at least – to fully reveal those lavender eyes.]

Changing a little bit.

[And he reaches into his pocket to pull out what looks to be a flip phone, entirely made of metal and emblazoned with the name and logo of a school neither of them would have ever heard of before now, setting it on the table between them.]

Getting things back.

Edited (spacing) 2019-01-20 05:00 (UTC)

Thanks, I hate it.

[ Is now the right time to verbally shitpost?!

Nevertheless, she folds her hands on the table, and while she does look at him, the words that come out of his mouth sting the more she tries to process it.

And then she looks down on the table again, trying to hide her hurt expression. ]

If we're changing back to our "old selves", remembering events from those lives, physically changing [ ironic, given that Inaba Himeko looks no physically different than how she does right now, not that she knows that yet ] and getting items back...

I have to ask you again. If- [ Her mouth clamps up. She doesn't want to say it. It'll hurt too much to. And it might hurt him, too, this way. But she has to ask, before she can even dare open up. And so she does, her voice slightly shaken up even as she tries to keep her cool. ] If, for example. We didn't know each other in our past lives or whatever. If we weren't related...

If I told you I was a horrible person, would you still... [ "be my friend" ] I can't just take the "because we're siblings" thing as a proper answer for earlier.

It's got its ups and downs. ...Mostly downs, though.

[It's absolutely the right time to verbally shitpost. Something has to get them through all this, and Rean's fine with it being humor.

He's quiet as she continues, wrapping his hands around his cup of tea and keeping his gaze on her.

...She does have a point. For all the memories he's gotten back, he's never once seen her. There's as real of a chance that Raina never existed in his past life as that she did. And while Rean initially jumped at the idea of his past self being a part of him, that is disconcerting.

Disconcerting, but it doesn't change his answer.]

Of course I would. [He shakes his head a little, as if to dismiss her concerns.] For one thing, I still have trouble believing anything you tell me is going to make me think you're a horrible person. For another...

Who I was doesn't change who I am now. Even if you and I weren't siblings in the past— hell, even if this you and this me weren't related at all. The person I am now exists because I knew you, because you're precious to me.

Even if I'm not always the best at showing it, that's the truth. You're important to me, no matter who you are, no matter what you think you've done. And that's all there is to it.

[ Her grip on her own drink's cup tightens a little bit and she has to force herself not to look straight up at him as he answers with full confidence and no hesitation at all.

She wishes she could be like that.

That's why she's been pretending for so long to hold her head up high and act like she had that confidence, because that's just the kind of person she wanted to be. If she believed in her own lie, maybe it could become real.

But the reason why her head hangs isn't solely because of her shame. Of the fact that she shouldn't feel this way, that her brother's a good person, so why is she like this ー

She's crying.

Tears are welling up in her eyes for the first time (she wasn't known for crying at all) because she can feel her proverbial mask slipping away, the cracks in them becoming that much more obvious. ]

You really mean that, Rean? You won't... hate me once I tell you?

[ Her voice is trembling in ways that she never let slip before, her fragility out in the open when she doesn't want anyone to see her like this. ]

[Rean immediately panics a little when he sees those tears well up, but if nothing else he at least has some idea how to handle this.

The first order of business is offering her a napkin, and the second is reaching over to place one of his hands atop hers.

He can't put in any effort toward taking care of himself, but for her? He'll give his everything.]

I mean it. I swear it on my soul.

[ She takes the napkin, but finds herself wiping her eyes with it and a part of her has to ask herself: why can he be so kind when she's obviously... not?

No, Raina already knows the answer.

She's known all this time, after being by his side for so long. He said it himself, didn't he? He really truly believes that she's important to him. Probably more than most people...

And that's why it hurts, once she's dried her tears to speak up and tell him the truth, looking straight into his eyes with something serious, yet fragile. If the smallest thing happened, she might just break, if she weren't already broken. ]

Okay, then... I'll tell you. You can't tell anyone else, though. I- [ She hesitates, chewing on her lip; she's terribly frightened and she wants to believe in his words but it's still hard. But she eventually manages. ] I don't trust anyone, Rean. And that includes you.

[Rean is quiet for a moment when she tells him that, but he doesn't move his hand from hers.

When he finally does react, it's with a laugh under his breath and a sad little smile.]

...Honestly, Raina.

After everything I've done? I think it'd hurt me more to know that you did trust me.

[And there's his honesty, raw and open. What's the point in hiding how much of a crushing disappointment he is from her, when she's so terrified of him? She ought to know they're on even ground— no, that no matter what, she's still above him.]

What have I done these past few years to earn your trust? All I've done is run away to another city, cut the people who cared for me no matter what out of my life, and wound up in the middle of this mess with Retrospec. It's been two years, and I can't even say I'm any closer to picking a major.

So, really. It's good that you don't trust me – it just means you still have the head on your shoulders I always knew you did.

[Rean. Rean, how can you miss the point so completely?]

That's-

[ Her words catch in her throat and suddenly she's hurt because she should have known all this by now. But then again, how could she have? They've barely spoken for two whole years.

She wasn't able to tell him all the good things, that she's graduated with extremely high marks and managed to get a bunch of scholarships but she bites that all back because sharing that when he looks like he's hurting himself isn't going to help either of them.

So she takes another sip of her drink in high hopes that she can keep herself together to explain better to him. ]

That isn't what what I mean. Maybe you're right that I shouldn't trust you based on that, but for me it's different. I see everyone as my "enemy" after all.

[There's a numbing comfort in being told "maybe you're right that I shouldn't trust you." It's a welcome reaffirmation of everything he's known for a long time, after all.

Still, even if there's no hope left for him, there is for her. He's sure of that. And if nothing else, he can route himself into helping her, make his existence actually worth something.]

Maybe so. But the way you're acting now, it's something you regret feeling, right? So if it's not something you're proud of, that means it's something you can work to change.

It doesn't make you a horrible person. It just makes you someone with things to work through. And even if I've been a useless big brother... if that's the case, then there's nothing I'd rather do than try to help you through it. It's the least I can offer, in return for all the years you gave to me.

[Hey, both of you? Have you considered that unconditional love is a thing and that neither of you need to earn it?]

[ Unconditional love sounds fake, so nah. ]

I can't just change like that, though.

[ Give her a second, Rean, she's going to pour her frustrations into eating the shortcake a little more violently than she should, although she isn't doing it in a way that would put eyes on the two of them because she really does not want the attention right now. ]

I can't just- I've tried for years to attempt to do it. But there's no way that someone like me could ever change for the better. I can't be fixed, Rean; this is just the kind of person I am, the kind of person I've always been.

[ But then she finds herself pausing for a moment before laughing, running a hand through her bangs. ]

Or are you going to try and convince me that maybe I should let the app change me? Back to the person I used to be?

[ This is a bad line of thinking, Raina. And she should probably stop talking right now before it spirals out of control. ]

I'm not—

[Mggghhhh. How does he get across what he wants to say? Even he knows this is a dangerous line of thought to be going down, and he's the one who would much rather be Rean Schwarzer of Class VII than the Rean Schwarzer who's sitting here right now.]

I... no. That's not what I'm trying to say, Raina. I just said it, didn't I? That no matter what the app changes, it can't change what we've been through up until now.

The app— whether we want it or not, it's a part of our lives, now. But we're always going to be ourselves no matter what it throws at us.

[He runs a hand through his own bangs, sighing in frustration both at himself and at this entire situation.]

Let me put it this way. Let's say everything you just said is true... even if it is, you still cared enough about me to come out here. To cry when you thought I might hate you.

You still care, don't you? In the end, isn't that what matters? I can't believe that it's something that will never be changed no matter what, but even if you are right, even if there's always going to be a wall between you and the world that you can't ever let down... you've always been trying to push past it, haven't you?

You can't tell me at least some of that wasn't real. What reason would you have to worry if everything about how you've felt has been fake?

...

[ Ah.

He's seen past her. A good part of it, anyway, and that's made rather apparent as her dark brown eyes widen and she just finds herself wanting to cry all over again because he's right.

She does care.

It's why she came out here in the first place when she could have just went to a better school elsewhere. Raina had the credentials for it, not to mention the paid scholarships. But she threw away those chances, and for what?

... But she can't say it was selfless. She did it for her own selfish, unspoken reasons. It was simple, really: she just didn't want to be alone. Having no real friends left that scar on her. Made her reliant when she shouldn't have to be.

That thought makes her bury her face in her hands, not wanting him to see her cry more than he already had to, even if he can probably hear it. It's only between choked sobs that she finally finds her voice again. ]

I can't do it, though! I'm not the strong person that I've been pretending to be this whole time... and even if I care, it isn't enough for me to stop seeing people as my enemies.

[ She wipes her face with a napkin and tries to pull herself together, smiling at him bitterly. ]

Anyway, this conversation is over. I'll go back to acting normal, so just forget I said anything.

[There's little Rean can do as she tears up again but reach out for her once more, silent in his feeble attempt at comfort and feeling woefully inadequate.]

Raina, I'm not asking you to be strong. I'm asking you to be you. That's all I've ever wanted out of you.

[But... oh. She's... running away, isn't she.

Rean sighs and pulls his hand back.]

...You know I can't possibly forget this. But... if you want this conversation to be over for now, [because it isn't over,] then I'm not going to push you on it.

[ The point, however, is that she doesn't want to be herself; because doing that means being weak and having all of those weaknesses exposed to the world.

This is already too much of herself exposed. ]

Sorry.

[There's nothing wrong with being weak like that! ...When it's her, anyway.

He shakes his head to dismiss her apology.]

There's nothing for you to be sorry for.

[Offering her a tiny, reassuring smile, he continues, voice gentler.]

Just enjoy your food, okay? And maybe catch me up a little on what you're doing here. For school, I'm sure, but... when did you get in? Have you picked a major yet? I'm sure there's a lot I've missed.

I got in this semester, actually on--

[ She stops herself, shaking her head so that she doesn't make Rean feel even worse about himself that she practically got in a free ride through a scholarship due to her really high grades.

But at least the school subject is a little lighter and she can talk about it easier, speaking between bites of her cake. ]

Well, let's just say I got here pretty recently, but I haven't been doing too much besides getting settled in my classes. I'm taking some general ed stuff, but also a few classes I need for my major and minor.

[ So yeah, she's kind of ahead of the game here in comparison to Rean, at least in terms of knowing what she wants to do with her life. ]

[Sorry, Raina, he's not so oblivious that he can't figure out where that first sentence was going. It earns a smile, though.

Good. She always was the academically gifted one between the two of them, and he's glad to see that hasn't changed a bit. And, well, if only one of them is squandering their parents' efforts, isn't that for the best?]

Oh, major and a minor? [He smiles between sips of his tea. Details, please!] Have classes been treating you well, then? Where are you living?

[ Well, to be fair, it isn't as if she's a genius or anything; she's just good at studying and utilizing what she's learned.

Nevertheless, if he wants the details, she'll give it to him. ]

Yeah, I'm majoring in computer sciences and minoring in psychology. Classes have been okay, but it's still like, the first few weeks, really. As for where I'm staying, originally the plan was going to be the dorms, but I found an apartment complex nearby that was a lot cheaper, so I went for that instead. It's a little on the older side, though, so it's a bit small and--

[ ... And she stops there before she rambles and gives him too much information, just using her pause to go finish up her cake. ]

Aaaaare you planning to come visit? Is that why you're asking?