SEPTEMBER TDM

[recollecters]

TEST DRIVE

SEPTEMBER TEST DRIVE - EVENT AND FOURTH WALL EDITION The city of Recollé... ...or, at least, a good mimicry of the city. It's been a few weeks since you've found yourself in this digitized version of your beloved city. You've found yourself surrounded by NPC versions of your friends and family who aren't a part of the Retrospec project, you've encountered strange and new places, and the viruses continue to appear despite the fight you've put up. On the evening of the 17th, things change again. No matter where you are, Alphas and Betas will hear the sound of loud clacking, something similar to fingers typing frantically on a keyboard. The dial-up sound rings out, echoing off of buildings and in your ears as a bright blue flash of code scrolls before your eyes. Perhaps it doesn't make sense, but your handheld device might help. It beeps to alert you of a new message, screen lighting up as a navigation app appears and seems to stick. It appears to be an ordinary app like Google Maps or Waze, but the destination is pre-installed and your feet begin to move on their own accord. I. - IN-GAME CHARACTERS ONLY If you're strong enough, you might be able to break free of the mysterious hold that's dragging you across the city and out toward the outskirts of Tisse. It's hard to locate the source of the pull, but everyone will find that as they traverse the city they're all heading in one direction. The navigation app cheerfully blurts out instructions as your body operates on auto-pilot, causing you to stumble through the city and the other districts. You'll find yourself colliding into another user, soon walking in front or behind them as everyone around you begins to form one solid line. The human chain forms steadily and…aren't you lucky? You get to hold hands! Single file, everyone. Maybe you lucked out and you're holding hands with a friend. If you're stuck between two strangers, well, maybe that's a little awkward but the chain is impossible to break. You continue to move. Locked hand in hand with every user in the city, you'll have to help each other navigate, avoid obstacles, and make sure you don't lag behind. Viruses linger and will follow this mass of people, snapping at your heels and attempting to devour anything nearby. Can you fight without your hands? It may be time to find out. The night sky is a bit cloudy and your only source of light is the moon and the glow of lights on buildings you pass by in all districts. The walk shouldn't take you long, but as you venture further away from the center of the city the sun begins to rise and obscures your vision a bit. Has time sped up? Or are you simply walking further than you thought? What an interesting question. II-A. - IN-GAME CHARACTERS ONLY The navigation app leads the group through a long, winding journey that ends just beyond the furthest point of Tisse as the day breaks. As the app chimes, the air before you shimmers as a glass-walled building materializes. Unlike the other buildings in the city, it appears to be solid and smooth, lacking the pixelated quality a majority of the city has by now. The human chain breaks and you let go of your neighbor. You're now free to explore this place. Stepping inside, you find rows and rows of glass cases and chambers off to the sides and in stacks. Accommodated with work stations and instruction manuals, you may find yourself drawn to these computers before the empty cases. While the manuals appear old and frayed, there are instructions one can follow to create the person of their dreams. Are you looking for someone athletic? Simply change the input for a higher muscle mass than your average model. What about someone funny? Copy and paste some knock-knock jokes to embed in their code. It's easy to create anything you desire. The book allows for anything, even those who aren't exactly human. As you code and build, the glass cases and chambers begin to fog up, smoke whirling around inside as something begins to grow and take shape. Be careful! You may have a clear vision in mind of what you wish to create, but the programming may have other ideas… …for those who don't wish to experiment for themselves, or those who are strong enough to shake off those urges, there are several other floors to explore. Unlike the cases downstairs, these ones are occupied and filled with finished models pre-labeled "Projected Example" or "Reboot". Perhaps these faces are familiar to you, or they're someone who looks interesting. A lost friend. Someone from your memories. Someone who you feel doesn't belong encased in glass at all. The possibilities seem endless when it comes to who you'll find inside, but as you continue to stare at the case before you…the glass cracks. II-B. - TDM/FOURTH WALL CHARACTERS. Where are you? The last thing you remember was a wavering, dizzy spell that forced your eyes closed as you fell unconscious. Upon awakening the glass walls around you are stifling and thick, white and blue smoke dances around your ankles as you blink away black spots impeding your vision. Trapped inside a glass case held behind glass walls, it becomes clear that you aren't where you're supposed to be. Any items you had on your person are missing and the palm of your hand burns intensely for ten seconds as a black tattoo forms. Branded as either a "Projected Example" or "Reboot", it isn't easy to understand what these terms mean. Perhaps that isn't what's important though. Rather, what's important is breaking your way out of this glass case and figuring out where you are. Shadowed figures can be seen walking the hallways just outside your case, sometimes alone or sometimes with a friend. It's hard to make out any of their features, but you can hear the muffled words being said. It's only when someone is close to your case that you find your strength. The glass begins to spider crack under the pressure of your hand, allowing you to push and punch as much as necessary to break free. There's no shame in needing assistance, of course. Some cases are thicker than others, and as the glass begins to crack it becomes easier to be heard by those outside of your case. How will you escape? Who will you find on the other side of the glass? It's a mystery and one that will not be answered until you free yourself of your enclosure. Breaking free is easy if you try and it gives you a full range of motion. The glass won't harm you, but sparkles adorn your skin as the sunlight shines through the windows around you. You're free to explore the floors of the building and check out the other glass cases nearby. Perhaps you'll even lend a hand and help others who are trapped. How did you all get here? That's yet another mystery that doesn't seem to have an answer, but more importantly…how do you get out of the building? This place is huge. III. - OTA Lucky for you, this building seems to be a safe haven from the crazy world outside. Though several stories tall and filled with cases and equipment as far as the eye can see, nothing strange seems to be happening and navigating the building is almost a pleasant experience. The glass walls allow for plenty of late-summer sunshine to filter in, giving you and everyone you're with a path to follow. This path, however, won't lead you to the front door. The front exit no longer exists and any attempts to reroute to it will send citizens on their way through the halls of the building again. Several doors and laboratories are found on the journey though you may not enter. Labeled areas such as "memory restoration", "accounting", "legal" and "resources", these areas are scattered and just beyond your reach. As you venture through the building and exit out the back door, the sound of music hits you full-force. Bright lights, thick grass and the sounds of children laughing await you. The grounds are vast and empty of other people. While the area is large and sprawling, it's evident that several iconic pieces of this area are missing. A large sign hangs overhead, greeting you and welcoming you to Rainbowland. Complete with a carousel, children's rides such as spinning tea cups, bumper cars, the hurricane and the octopus, and a midway full of games, this amusement park looks like the perfect place to spend an afternoon. Along with the usual set-up, Rainbowland is host to a special event for the next week. Scattered throughout the grounds are banners and stalls proudly proclaiming "WELCOME TO RETROSPEC." Carnival food of all kinds can be found at these stalls with the Retrospec logo plastered on the side. Eat these foods at your own risk! Sweets will grant consumers super-speed, meats such as hot dogs and burgers kick in a boost of super-strength, fried foods will cause a consumer to move in slow motion and drinks may cause temporary invisibility. Weird, right? The midway has a few strange surprises as well. While most games are easy to play (and free at that, why isn't anyone around to take tickets from park visitors?), there are certain games set up by Retrospec themselves that have equally strange prizes. Stuffed animals of a variety of creatures from other worlds line the shelves (some you may or may not recognize), along with glass dolls of you and people you know. The likeness of these prizes is a little too spot-on; dolls will spout a common catch-phrase and stuffed animals will feel as though they are breathing. Finally, in addition to the Rainbowland rides, Retrospec has provided a wooden roller coaster and a large ferris wheel, both branded with their logo. For those who wish to feel the rush, the roller coaster reaches speeds of up to 60 miles per hour and comes with several hills and one full upside-down loop. Riders, however, will experience brief hallucinations after this loop; as the loop completes they'll find themselves seeing visions of a dark, underground river. The hallucination seems within reach almost as if the cart they're in will dive straight into the water. The ride ends with all riders unharmed, however. As for the ferris wheel? It's just a ferris wheel, several stories high with bright blue, encased cars to give riders a bird's eye view of the entire city and protect them inside. As you reach the top, the car will come to a gentle stop and the view from the window will change. Instead of the beloved city of Recollé, the landscape below is different. Perhaps it's a landscape you recognize, or it's an area of a battle-ridden world. Perhaps you see your friend's high school that they've seen in their memories or islands from another life. Every view is different, but by the time you reach the ground again you're back in Recollé. It's a carnival and it's fun, but several things that don't belong to Rainbowland seem off. Those with a keen eye and who have been around for a while may come to realize one important factor; the symbol is drawn inaccurately. The Retrospec symbol is missing a few loops and the particular shade of blue used is too dark to match. A counterfeit Retrospec...is it possible? Maybe it's best just to stick with what Rainbowland itself has to offer. IV. - OTA So maybe carnivals aren't your thing. No matter! You can leave Rainbowland whenever you'd like and make your way back to the city. On the other hand the city and areas around it may not be as you remember it. "Projected Examples" might not recognize this place at all, but "Reboot" will recognize that the pixelation of buildings, the NPC status of people they may know and the glitches that occur aren't normal by any standards. Exploring the city will allow all visitors to ride the trains and visit the various locations Alphas and Betas have access to, create and travel through the digital scape of half-constructed concepts, and they'll find they're even more susceptible to being attacked by bug-like viruses. These viruses will follow newcomers, snapping and biting to try and devour them. Defeating one will generate two more, and while they aren't as prominent in the digital scape you may find yourself with your hands full. There is no way to reach the outside regions of Pesgare, Respatrum, Bosuma and Magatus at this time, but there's plenty in the city to keep you on your toes. Visitors may have to find lodging for the next few weeks whether that's with friends or strangers, but at least all of the buildings remain standing. And if that doesn't keep you busy enough, the NPC citizens of Recollé are happy to provide you with jobs. If you choose to speak to any of these people, they'll go off of their pre-assigned dialogue and provide you with a small quest. "Find ten bananas and deliver them to someone with red hair." "Pet every dog that you see." "Catch three fish from the ocean and sell them to a neighbor." Some of these quests may not even make sense, but they'll be assigned nevertheless. Upon completion of each quest taken on, a triumphant sound will play from overhead and a banner will appear displaying your new title. Deliver those bananas? "Gone Bananas" will flash over your head. How about those fish? "So Long and Thanks For..." will linger for a while. Too bad no one told you those banners won't go away. When you're alone the title will be hidden, but as you speak to more people in the city the banner reappears, hovering over your head for the entire length of the conversation. The titles will change as you complete new tasks, but it appears as though they're permanent now. Congratulations! BONUS. - OTA Everyone will be equip with a handheld device much like a cell phone but downgraded. Containing only a drawing application, the game of Snake, the Retrospec app and the navigation app to lead you back to that glass building, it's...pretty useless. Technology in the city is hit and miss in its pixelated state, but perhaps it's better to ask the Retrospec network what the next step is. While Alphas and Betas are still posting as their A/B IDs, "Projected Examples" and "Reboots" will find that all posts and comments are tagged as their status and their name. Examples and Reboots will also find that a "Welcome to Retrospec" guide pops up, giving them only a brief moment to read the guidelines before a bright flash appears, snapping their photo for their profile and connecting them to someone new on the network. Whether you're sending or receiving messages, a string of colored text, numbers and code will leave or enter your device. These devices also need to be charged constantly, so be careful when taking them out of the house! You'd hate to get cut off at the worst possible moment, wouldn't you? Welcome to the recolle test drive meme, fourth wall event, and September event part two! Please review these instructions for this particular event! As we are combining a few different options here, we want to ensure players know what options are available. Thank you! All characters who are TDMing will be begin in-game AU'd as Recollé residents. You may use any of the above prompts for ideas or make up your own depicting your Recollé AU! Prompts do not have to be set in the districts listed above. You can review our list of locations for what's available. Please note that TDM threads can be used as samples, can be kept as game canon, and can also be used for bonus points for future item regains. Share a few minor details of your AU, tag around, and have fun! Since this is a special event, the TDM is tied with a fourth wall event as well! For players who are fourth-walling characters (canon versions, different canon AUs, CRAU, versions from other games, etc), please label your top-level as "Projected Example." Players who are TDMing to app will fall under "Reboot" and we ask that you label your top-level as such! And finally, characters in-game are not required to label their top-levels with anything. This way, it's easier for your gamemates to know who's TDMing, who's just playing around, and who's already in-game. For Prompt III, any characters who choose to ride the ferris wheel will be able to see the landscape of any canonical world once they're at the top. It doesn't matter if they would recognize it or not, but the image will be brief until the car moves again! Likewise, stuffed animals won from the Retrospec midway games can be creatures your character would recognize from their memories or from other canons they may or may not recognize. Use your best judgment! Prompt IV may be used to create new scenarios and threads based on the prompts from Part One of September's Event! Please feel free to read the prompts in event log one and create your own scenarios for your top-levels. Additionally, you are free to make up your own silly/serious fetch-quests and titles that would be rewarded to your characters. While normally we do not allow this, please remember that current players may earn one freebie by threading with someone who is TDMing! This thread must contain 5 consecutive comments from you to be eligible. In addition, all players may use any threads accrued in this event for bonus points. As a special note, we will also allow current players to use a thread from this Fourth Wall/TDM/Event for their AC proofs! As this ties into a game-event, we are making an exception. However, your other proof(s) (at least ten comments) must come from sources outside of this log. Likewise, as this is an event log instead of just a standard TDM, you may use this log to trigger regains as normal. Please note: you will need a reserve to apply, and current characters must have full AC posted at the time of their reservation. Your September TDM directory is here, and your AU workshop is here! Our mod questions thread for this TDM is over here!

Comments

[idolworship]

Oh? I disagree. That you are - and remain - not at all affiliated with the church is fascinating to me. I'm certain you know it, but we're quite evangelical.

( as though perfect opposite of wataru, he swings his hands behind him, clasping him there. an ad, hm . . . he has questions about. the general idea of that. )

I won't be converting you, though, if you happen to worry about that. I wouldn't tell little Tori, ( as in, Do Not, ) but it's a habit I've generally broken.

Regardless, you said you had such terrible luck? Most are quick to turn to God when faced with a drought of fortune. Does the concept of worship, ( of pedestals, ) trouble you so much?

( with his tone it's clear he isn't asking because he thinks wataru's reasoning is flawed, exactly, but he asks because he wants to know - the lawless curiosity of a scientist with a scalpel. )

[faireleclown]

[ oh, a shame, he'd heard their conversions were quite fun—but even if miai isn't tori's age, the gap is still, likely, not one that rests easy on wataru's heart. not as easily as it should. ]

What will God do for them? [ a shake of his head. ] Man is done and undone by his own making.

[ and he doesn't... quite believe god exists, either, but that seems poor form to just say. he's a man of many things, but trashing that particular view isn't one of them. ]

[idolworship]

( if you want him to seduce you that's an entirely different story and you should tell h

more seriously, he makes a thoughtful sound. it's not the first time he's heard that line of reasoning - he's converted many, many sorts of people in the past - but it is one of the few times he's heard it without the intent to change someone's mind. )

God gives us courage. In large doses - recklessness; in modest amounts - strength. Atheists, of course, drink alcohol in His place.

( a joke, a joke - he parts his hands to wave one. )

And what have you thought of dear Tori, so proud to be a vessel of God?

[faireleclown]

A great many things, of course!

[ of course; he says it with levity, as if he's trying to turn this conversation into something far less serious than it's become. whether or not it works remains to be seen, but, ]

Though I mostly tune out that type of talk. [ mostly. ] I'm uninterested, and he has no interest in converting me otherwise. Ah, he really doesn't seem to like me so much, are you certain he's that fond of me...? He made me cry several times today already! Oh, to be the guardian of a young man! [ he pats his eyes gently with his fingertips, pouting slightly. ] Is this puberty? I was never so unruly to those I stayed with at his age... How cruel children are these days.

[idolworship]

Several times today? My, I didn't know he had such excess talent.

( he did want to know precisely the sort of regard tori's guardian has for him, but he also can't particularly force it - they aren't with rosetis now, after all; they cannot make people spill secrets and thoughts they don't want shared.

given wataru's glib nature, he doesn't likely believe wataru when he says he's cried, but it seems that's just how wataru likes to keep things - shallow. it reminds him a little of how things were with leo, and he can't say he's impressed. well, well - this was tori's caretaker all the same, so, regardless of his own opinion, it seems best they stay acquainted for the time being.

so, he leaves that conversation where wataru has left it by the roadside, and as they pass a great rainbow of balloons free for any patrons - presumably to be handed out by any employees, were there any - he takes one and offers it to wataru, as if he were cheering a crying child. )

The ways we connect to others are the ways we have been taught, or a means of trying to gain what we were never given. Myself, nor yourself, nor Tori are any exception.

( well, so much for light. regardless— )

In any case, I've never seen an instant he wasn't persuaded by candy, so I'd recommend that as often as possible . . . ☆ I don't think he's very much fond of dentists, though, so he'll have to learn moderation himself if he won't like to become a victim.

[faireleclown]

[ so much for light, but wataru accepts the balloon, winding the string around his fingers. if there was ever a test to score well on, it would probably be miai, who undoubtedly loves tori— but, well.

...his feelings are difficult. on religion, on the devotion tori has. he lets the balloon bounce, shifting to the new topic without missing a beat. ]

I forbid him candy, but in exchange, I've made multitudes of French pastries for him. [ ♪ ] He loves them... Perhaps you'd like to try some someday? I'd boast my skill is somewhere close to Michelin star-quality.

[idolworship]

( really, he's as invested in tori as it is a crutch. that he cares for tori deeply and wants to ascertain the nature of tori's caretaker is genuine and true, but it also gives him other matters to focus on.

it's not as if he can say he feels anything particularly tangible toward the wataru of his memories besides a fevered increase in heartbeat, and even then there's no reasons behind it - nothing sensible such as, "he was kind to me and my past self valued that," or something; only foolish, thoughtless fancy. there is then very little reason for him to levy that unto the wataru here and now - this senseless and baseless attraction that, however faint, still rubs him red like an irritant. he can't very well take issue with leo and ritsu if he's going to do the same. )

You're not terribly humble, are you? ( fufu ) I'd be very much happy to take you up on that offer ♪ If your pastries are enough to sate Tori in place of sweets, they really must be to die for.

Still, you tutor; you teach; you bake . . . I'll tell Tori to praise you a little bit more; it's rare to find a caretaker who's of so many talents ♪

( though the mention of france reminds him wataru doesn't seem to have used french in awhile . . . ah, he wonders if he's off-put him too much with his talks of god? hm hm, a likely possibility, miai assumes. )

[faireleclown]

Ah, monsieur, you flatter me. I should be able to do this much at least, shouldn't I? ♪

[ a small laugh and a shake of his head, slowly settling with his hands behind his back, the balloon bouncing like a tail. ]

I picked up baking from a job... I cook as well, though that's more of a necessity than anything else, non? You can't simply eat out all the time, and subsisting off less-than-quality food works against you. [ in his gentle opinion. ] Tutoring and teaching are jobs, too, so it isn't as if that's anything special...

[ still, still, he preens a little, with his words. no, he isn't humble; life's a little too short to spend it being anything less than confident, even to the point of arrogance. wataru tilts his head to miai, lips pulled to the side. ]

And you, monsieur? Do you have any hidden talents I may fawn over as well~? It seems only fair, non?

[idolworship]

( this is a little like watching a bird, he thinks - one that chirps quite avidly to itself as it preens in the mirror; and, like a bird, it's quite entertaining to watch. (the tail helps the effect, too.) )

I have nothing so impressive and practical. Cooking and baking feed you, and tutoring and teacher foster relationships with others ♪

Myself, I just worked in the circus; nothing so special. ( it's hard to tell whether he's being humble or ironic. ) I told you I was an acrobat earlier, but I did all variety of acts there - tightrope-walking; knife-throwing; et cetra . . . My best and favorite was lion-taming, though I worked with all any sort of big cats.

Well, I enjoyed it, and many of my fondest memories are there, but . . . I've thought I might be better suited to something new, so I've been a bit humbled as to my lack of practical skills ♪ The degree I have is all right, but I think I do like performing too much to go through with what I'm in school for. Still, I suppose it's hurdles like these that keep life interesting.

[faireleclown]

[ wataru makes a little ooh noise at lion-taming; it's impressive to hear as it is to see, and he's a bit sad he's no longer a worker there—that type of entertainment is a sight to see. ah, the theater of it, knowing the lion is hopefully as trained as its master, yet it's still a wild animal—dangerous, unpredictable...♪

maybe it speaks something of miai, who so willingly danced with it (among other perilous feats, perilous cats), and wataru tucks it in the back of his mind. ]

Attend one of my drama classes, and maybe we'll find a muse in you. Ah, of course, all of your fellow actors will be ages ten and under. [ a soft laugh, a sweep of his hand through his bangs. ] The monsieur might just be on their level, non? We have some very talented children.

[idolworship]

( though it's difficult to tell if wataru is simply playing at being awed or not, it's never a bad feeling to feel - at least a little bit - that you've done something impressive, despite the less pleasant affairs woven into his time with the circus.

at the suggestion, miai only laughs. )

To think you father so many little chicks besides our Tori . . . I would be very well flattered, actually. I've never acted in my life; I think I might be able to learn a thing or two from them.

Though, gauging from Tori's review, I have the sense you must be quite the teacher ♪

( as in, a strict one. not necessarily a bad thing, in tori's case, as even miai knows he's somewhat spoiled - and not necessarily off-putting for miai, either.

as they approach the ferris wheel, it's miai this time who opens the door before wataru, ushering him in with a faux half-bow, hand to his chest. )

After you ♪

[faireleclown]

Un vrai gentleman, il ouvre la porte avec comme flair! Merci beaucoup, mon charmant monsieur.

[ even if he's basically only returning the favor... wataru ducks in as he's ushered, sliding to the other side and resting his arm on the back of the seat as he turns to watch miai. ]

I only expect great things, mon ami. [ friends now, it's easy to say. ] De leur, de mon petit oiseau, de toi. Ne c'est pas?

[ ... ... ... ]

I wouldn't bother offering if I didn't find you, him, or them the slightest bit [ mm, the word, ] interesting, monsieur. That's all I've said— I think that's important enough to share, non?

[ and all the french before isn't anything important, so, ]

[idolworship]

( ah, the french is back. miai continues to have no idea what he says, though he does pick up pieces of the puzzle - mon -- monsieur, mon ami, mon petit oiseau - the usual nouns one might expect from someone who began in america, with is fringe fascination with french.

there's some more, maybe, his ears are growing familiar with regardless, but only due to wataru's sparse translations - hardly reliable indications of grammar, but it does give him brain something to chew on while wataru so graciously leaves him out of half of his sentiments. )

Oh... ♪ I'm quite delighted you did. It's rare that I'm considered interesting at all, actually.

( he says this as he sits comfortably across wataru, not looking any more delighted than usual but miai, at least, doesn't seem as if he's being merely glib. generally, people do tend to consider miai at least a little bit annoying given how out of hand he can get. it probably doesn't help he can be quite unnecessarily flirtatious, which he's rather pointedly switched off here. )

Well, if you'd be interested enough to treat me, I'd be more than willing. Besides the fact that I'd like to remain on good terms with you as Tori's caretaker, I'm genuine when I said I'd like to pursue some form of performance . . . When the audience cheers, I feel as if I've done something truly wonderful for them. Their joy is mine, too.

[faireleclown]

Ah, perhaps we were fated to meet, monsieur! I feel the same.

[ there's nothing better than it; he closes his eyes, smile growing faint but fond. ]

My very first performance was... dans la rue, devant la tour d'Eiffel. The assignment had originally been one in class, but I'd gotten the idea to try it outside of it as well... A little improv, you might say. I did plenty of things: little one-man plays, charades, miming... All things to delight a crowd and pick up a little change. Ah, not that I got so much. [ a little shrug. ] I wasn't bad, but it isn't as if anyone goes to the Eiffel Tower to be entertained like that, non? And the French aren't as fond of the thing as tourists are, and I don't think I can blame them. It is something like a skeleton sitting as the peak of French architecture in such a beautiful city as Paris...

[ though marseilles is prettier, in his opinion. nice, too. ah, so many places, really— ]

But I knew I'd want to continue doing something like that. It was after quite a few failed attempts at finding myself too... [ he opens his eyes again, blue-green and glittering. ] I was fortunate, but I'm certain everyone has something like that. Something they find by chance, that changes their life so dramatically... non?

[idolworship]

How wonderful . . . I wonder if I might have seen you while I was in France briefly, passing like a parallel stream by a young student doing tricks ♪

( lip service, mostly, since wataru teases about fate, which - this is the second time wataru's referenced it as such, and though it makes his chest jitter with how his heart pounds his chest, he presumes not to take it too seriously. right? this man is simply entirely flair, and yet it's what makes him so captivating to watch.

regardless, he remarked on wataru's performance first because he procrastinates on the second thing wataru asks. there are many, many unplanned instances of his life; things telling of his character that he had not known before, for better or worse - things that gradually guide him toward some stronger sense of who he is, but at what cost? his gaze, with a fainter smile, wanders briefly out the window as they lift further from the ground, their pace scenic and slow.

wataru had said so himself that he hadn't regretted his past. if only miai could be so faultless; if only he could be so self-assured. in five years time, he wonders if he'll still be dragging his heels like this. )

Well, most of life is chance, isn't it? Or, at least it seems as much to us, who live it. And perhaps the things that change us don't seem very big at the time, until they suddenly are.

( his gaze returns to wataru, and he smiles once again. the depression he fell into once he left japan, and how he could no longer find will to perform . . . no, the distaste he had for it - was not for this conversation, he thinks. )

... But all the same, I do adore it. Though some events have done well to persuade me from it for a time, to take up a normal degree at a normal university . . . I think, perhaps, a performer of any type offers his watcher a brief dream.

To children especially, we have no ropes. There are no nets within their vision, and there is no script. We show them, perhaps, a truer nature of the world they had always assumed was there, and now had proof existed - certainty that wonder and magic exist.

A fantasy, whether it be in his music, or dance, or act . . . And though to act in the circus was something I simply took up by chance, I found meaning in my being there. I suppose even now, myself, and perhaps everyone, too . . . we are all only chasing that chance, that fate, that might yield their meaning once again, unfurl it like petals from the depths of their being.

[faireleclown]

[ wataru relaxes against his fist, temple leaned against two loosely curled fingers, as miai talks; there's something eye-catching about him in a way he feels they're kin in, and it's a strange feeling, to think one might have found someone similar enough to talk in kind with. not altogether unpleasant, no, but it's rare, to find someone who can speak as well as him, who can match him.

the smile, faint, catches his eye the most; the smile returned, born again, tugs him more gently to curiosity. despite his tendency to stay to the side, ah... perhaps it's because this is someone tori idolizes so, has spoken so well of, that he's so curious about him, that he'd like to know him more. it can't only be that they've spoken so easily, after all; certainly it must be some underlying thing caused by hours and days and weeks culminated of tori's boasts and glee.

wataru returns the smile in kind, anyway. ]

Ah, monsieur, you have such a way with words, it makes my heart tremble with jealousy. [ ...mmm. he mulls the words over, wondering if miai could find the same joy and meaning on stage as him— well, it'd be a long time yet, even with practice, before wataru would allow that much, but— it resounds with him, a little, such a quest. he's happy as he is, he'd tell that to anyone! he has jobs he enjoys, he has a hobby he loves, he has tori to keep him company...

but still. to be young and wandering through life, he supposes. to be in university again, trying to find your way through the world once more, as treacherous as she is. ] Chance is chance because it simply happens... non? Though I'm the type to chase after who and what I like too, monsieur, if I'm honest with you.

[ a higher quirk of his lips, before it smooths out again. ]

I hope you find it though. There is no greater pleasure in life than discovering who and what you're meant to be, where you belong. [ though even now, he can't say if he's content with that last one... ] Well, there are great pleasures, but I find being happy the most important of them, non? From happiness comes a plethora of other good things... ♪ The sun shines brighter, the sky is bluer, desserts are sweeter, people are kinder. Even if these are all mere perceptions, that perception is more than enough.

[idolworship]

We're all victims of perspective, aren't we? Even if you and I lived the exact same lives and made the very same choices, how we feel about it would no doubt differ.

( but wataru's show of support is warm in some way, with miai being precarious about his growth as it is, between rosetis and dozens of other factors.

he lets his fingers loosely intertwine upon his lap; ah, it's a shame. despite everything, despite how he falls perhaps short of expectation, wataru is terribly charming, a treat to simply listen to and watch him flit about. he's just charming enough that miai wants to be held somewhat decently in wataru's esteem, that he - self-conscious for the first time in his life - hopes very much that wataru is being sincere enough here, because he doesn't want to look silly by taking it seriously when he shouldn't have, or look silly at all. )

All the same, I appreciate your regards. I doubt I'm nearly as courageous as you, honestly, though perhaps in my own way.

( no chasing impossible loves to france, he means - or recolle, as it were... wait, )

The lion tamer is always cautious, did you know? It seems like a reckless job and it is, but we've always got to be on the lookout for danger, for the slightest change in each cat's caprice . . . But I'd like to be the lion, for once ♪ Even if that's only a silly dream for now.

( ... he leans back against his seat, soft and plush, a little conscious of how small these cars really are . . . perfect for couples, he's guessing, but miai looks faintly embarrassed. )

Ah, I'm sorry - I've just made the conversation all about me, haven't I? I wouldn't be very jealous of me - I always end up going on like this on accident . . . You can pick another topic, if you'd like; I'd still like to hear more about you.

( h, )

[faireleclown]

Non, monsieur, you've only made me more interested in hearing about you. [ especially with that faint embarrassment; little details don't go unnoticed, the devil in them, but wataru won't terrorize him too much.

just enough, letting his hand drop so he can lean closer, a bit. ] A lion tamer who wishes to be the lion, for once... Ah, are you the cautious one in your relationships, then? ♪ Or do you simply mean you'd wish people would watch you more closely, expecting you to tear them to shreds if you feel like it? ♪

[ he's teasing, but, really, miai. he laughs, leaning back again, turning his head to watch out the rising car. ah, what a lovely scene it is... ]

...If you'd like to learn more about me, then go ahead and ask, but! [ but! he raises a hand, wiggling his fingers casually. ] They can only be yes-or-no. Explanation can come later, but for now, I think something simple suits the atmosphere, lest the two of us talk in circles with each other. A linguistic waltz...♪

[ though he, doesn't sound opposed to that, so. ]

[idolworship]

( is he doing this on purpose? he does seem the sort, and he does seem like he is, and in the moment wataru errs a little too close miai seems to stiffen, sort of like he'd been - and been badly playing off - in the brief time they'd been holding hands, and he presses back against his seat.

it's both a regret and a relief when wataru pulls back, as well as a bit of a frustration - for him, of all people, to be so easily influenced; tch. if this wataru had to be reincarnated as such, it'd be nice if he weren't so - so pretty. it's the hair, isn't it? that's certainly there is all to it. he's got to find some way to force him to cut it, at some point, and )

To be turned down for a dance before I've even asked for one . . . That's perhaps a first for me. ( keeping it! casual! as if he hadn't just retreated like an antelope to a lion. how doubly ironic. ) Such a shame, though - perhaps another time?

( letting the question flit through the air playful and definitely ambiguous as he considers what Light Question he may be allowed to offer to wataru. hmmm. )

The yes-no restriction is quite difficult, though . . . I can't even ask what your hobbies are in a general sense? ( he waves a hand. ) Well, I'm supposing the answer to that might be "no."

( he follows wataru's gaze out the window, as if it might offer him inspiration. really - it's beautiful, and he's glad he's came with someone else, even if it's wataru. some sights - some things - just aren't meant to be done alone, he thinks, and his gaze lingers there - then lingers for a moment on wataru's profile as his gaze pulls away. )

Do you have hobbies besides acting, then?

[faireleclown]

[ maybe, he thinks, there's a limit to teasing miai, too, just as there is to teasing tori; he'll have to watch the line carefully, wanting to be on good terms with the both of them. apologize if necessary, but he doesn't think it's quite past that, right now. he chuckles at the very correct assertion of his answer and answers miai's actual question without hesitation. ]

D'accord, yes, of course.

[ but that leaves the conversation so quiet on his end, and his lips twitch a little, and

oh. oh he should have known, this is twice as hard for him, given how much he likes the sound of his own voice; he covers his mouth with his hand, glancing at miai from the corner of his eye. ah, well, well. ]

...Aside from acting, I like watching bad movies. [ he can't help it !! he has to talk. ] Very, very bad ones. It's been something of a guilty pleasure of mine for a long while...♪ I like reading too, but that's not as interesting. Pardonnes-moi, I've already broken the rules of my own game, non?

[idolworship]

( he laughs, soft, as wataru continues regardless of his own rule, having no complaint. perhaps it was a good thing he started out with such an easy question rather than anything heavier, like he had a habit of doing ♪ )

Hmm, how terrible, how terrible . . . And here I thought you were more a man of your word. ( joking, joking, relaxing a little. it seems wataru really couldn't help but talk - well, they had that much in common, even if their reasons did differ. ) But I wouldn't worry about it, hm? As the old adage goes, "some rules are meant to be broken."

( not something a supposed man of the cloth should be saying exactly, but regardless, )

Bad movies, though, really? Are they simply educational experiences, or just particularly enjoyable to watch as an actor? Ah, you can just answer the second question if you're going to undertake again the burden of only answering in yes-no's, or continue however you'd like if you'd prefer to waltz.

( linguistically, as wataru had joked. )

[faireleclown]

Did I ever claim to be one?

[ a barely hidden grin, but he shakes his head, ah. it doesn't matter, they can dance; he likes it, anyway. ]

Neither. I started that even before I discovered acting--I just find them fun. Poorly made, poorly acted, poorly written... And they're wonderful to watch with other people as well. ♪ Mon petit oiseau and I do it once a week,

Perhaps... [ he pauses, as if to actually think about it, but it's only for show. ] Perhaps the monsieur would like to join us sometime, for a marathon or two? I'm sure he'd be delighted.

[idolworship]

With yourself and Tori? I'd be be beside myself ♪ I'd been thinking of what excuses to find to catch up with him, even.

( he says this as if he needs excuses with tori, but it's really just fluff. he is quite genuinely enthused to movie night with tori, and, well, wataru . . . it shouldn't be so bad, regardless, since tori will probably be clinging to him, as he always does. he is sort of curious, too, what sort of place wataru lives in - what sort of place wataru is having tori live in, that is. )

I'll admit I'm surprised, though - not by the movies, of course - but that you don't act; it's quite the twist. If anything, you seem to very much have the personality for it . . . but I doubt I'm the first one to say.

( and that's ignoring how he's gone to acting school and teaches elementary drama . . . though it's true neither of those decisively funnels into an acting career. he's on a bio track himself with little interest in pursuing a career, for instance. )

[faireleclown]

All the world's a stage, and we are merely actors on it, non?

[ but that isn't what miai means, and he knows it. he drops his hand from his mouth again, resting his arm back on the back of the seat, and hums. he likes acting; he loves it, given it gives him such a rush; but it isn't so much acting as it is hearing those cheers, the rush of warmth of entertaining someone, praise for a job well-done... ]

I do it from time to time, but it isn't as if I have much free time. Being a teacher isn't as easy as it seems, and I have ballet to instruct besides! [ he gives a small gesture with his fingers, idly. ] I could never leave Tori alone either, non?

[ and there are few other reasons, too, but that's neither here nor there, in truth. ]

[idolworship]

( it's certainly not what he mans, and he can tell wataru avoids the question - perhaps as he'd intended to with his initial yes-no rule. open as wataru seems, he is in some ways like grasping running water. how fascinating. )

You teach ballet? Is it for children, too? My, you're very much a busy bee.

( he rests his head idly against the window, letting the passing scenery shift in his periphery. )

You sound like an overworked single mother - no, Papa? ( papa oiseau, etc ) If you'd ever like, you can leave Tori with me for a time and enjoy yourself. I won't deprive you of your job and pay by stealing him for too long - as much as I'm tempted to - but short of that, I'd never mind having him.