Professor Carter!

[This is exactly who you wanted to see to save you from unwanted social interaction, right? Shuji inserts himself between Howard and the children.]

Professor Carter's not a vampire, he's even cooler than a vampire. He's an author.

[As predicted, the children find this super boring.] Laaaaame.

If you stay here I'll tell you all about his books about shipwrecks, and old history...

[Rather than suffer through a lecture about broken boats, the children scatter immediately.]