[Why is she doing this? Why isn't she going after her sister? Calling out to her, yelling and grabbing her wrist, begging her to stay. She's been hoping for this day her entire life, working for it, dreaming of it. She would find her again and make everything as right as she could, try to make up for so much.
And yet there she was, frozen like a statue at a coffee shop as Lucy runs out the door, and out of her life once again.
She's wasted a lot of things: her youth, her time with her mother, and now her chance to get her sister back. There's a bitter, finalistic feeling to that last thought, and it weighs heavy on her entirety. Guilt roiling in her mind, she finally takes a step and leaves out the door, the bells ringing with her exit.
She knows Lucy is long gone by now, and doesn't even bother looking up and down the street for her, even though she wants to bolt the first direction she thinks of and sweep the entire place. Putting the mask of a Guidance Counsellor back on, she slowly makes her way home. In the back of her mind she chants: Just one step at a time until your there. Try to hold until your home.
And by the time she's at the door of her apartment, its barely enough to keep herself together. Falling back first against the door and sliding down to the floor, she pulls her legs up to her chest and buries her face in her knees, assuming a fetal position as she tries to calm down. Its a position she used to taking up, ever since she was a little girl, and its basically an instinct now. Yet the security it provides her fails to work, and soon she finds herself shaking again, liquid soon blurring her eyes.
Then the loathing starts, and she dives headfirst into a sea of regrets. Suddenly she's a crying little girl weeping her sisters name, she's a rebellious teenager drunkenly sulking in a police cruiser, she's a newly ordained adult grieving for years wasted, and she's a crying woman who just wants her sister back.
Katherine cries alone that night, just like the many times before.]
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And yet there she was, frozen like a statue at a coffee shop as Lucy runs out the door, and out of her life once again.
She's wasted a lot of things: her youth, her time with her mother, and now her chance to get her sister back. There's a bitter, finalistic feeling to that last thought, and it weighs heavy on her entirety. Guilt roiling in her mind, she finally takes a step and leaves out the door, the bells ringing with her exit.
She knows Lucy is long gone by now, and doesn't even bother looking up and down the street for her, even though she wants to bolt the first direction she thinks of and sweep the entire place. Putting the mask of a Guidance Counsellor back on, she slowly makes her way home. In the back of her mind she chants: Just one step at a time until your there. Try to hold until your home.
And by the time she's at the door of her apartment, its barely enough to keep herself together. Falling back first against the door and sliding down to the floor, she pulls her legs up to her chest and buries her face in her knees, assuming a fetal position as she tries to calm down. Its a position she used to taking up, ever since she was a little girl, and its basically an instinct now. Yet the security it provides her fails to work, and soon she finds herself shaking again, liquid soon blurring her eyes.
Then the loathing starts, and she dives headfirst into a sea of regrets. Suddenly she's a crying little girl weeping her sisters name, she's a rebellious teenager drunkenly sulking in a police cruiser, she's a newly ordained adult grieving for years wasted, and she's a crying woman who just wants her sister back.
Katherine cries alone that night, just like the many times before.]