[According to the wheel of chance, he has a dollar (true, it's in his pocket), the perfect alibi (for what?), he can’t lie (untrue), and he's indecisive (maybe), which makes him perfectly qualified to be a....]

Uh... [Is all Hayden can say as the second wheel of chance lands on "politician" and he's whisked off to another room with a group of people all as suited for politics as he is.

He's a tall figured, dressed all in black, dark hair hanging and not quite hiding his heavily scarred face, and he holds an old receipt with his list of qualifications on it in one scarred hand (he'd heard the list of his supposed qualifications from the first recruiter who'd approached him and scribbled them down on the only scrap of paper on his person, since he hasn't bought a cell phone yet).]

This game is taking way too long, isn't it? [He asks the nearest person, with a friendly smile (he... winds up looking kind of terrifying anyway).] I guess whoever gets past the interview is the winner.

Jesse Owen's world record in which sporting event stood from 1935 until 1960? [Asks the man standing behind the desk at the veterinarian's office, staring at the screen of the bulky crt monitor of the office computer. Ideally he should be checking you in so your pet can get their checkup done with (or, ideally he should have a secretary doing that but for some reason the vet is the one struggling behind the desk).

Whatever he types in was the wrong answer, because he sighs and shakes his head, uncharacteristically frustrated as Never Gonna Give You Up starts playing tinnily through ancient speakers hidden somewhere under the desk.

Dr. Hayden Itsumi​ ("Call me Dr. Hayden!") gives a tense smile across the office at his first client of the day. Thank god there aren't any emergencies right now.]

Sorry, I think this has some kind of computer virus. It keeps making me answer a trivia question before I can use it.

You can have some tea while you wait.

[anything else?]