[Oh, dear. He always looks so eager, because he really is enthused about this dissertation. She can't blame him: it really is interesting, even if she herself doesn't have much interest in legends and myths. But it means she always feels slightly bad about giving him criticism, because god, look at that face.
Oh, well. He'll never improve if she isn't honest. And she isn't nasty about it.]
You're going to have to clear up the sections a bit, I'm afraid. You start off clear and defined, but it starts to muddle a bit once you get into various legends concerning it.
[She hefts her bag as she says it, nodding towards the door: come along.]
You want want to focus on talking about the general different kinds of energies first, before you get into the more personalized bits.
no subject
[Oh, dear. He always looks so eager, because he really is enthused about this dissertation. She can't blame him: it really is interesting, even if she herself doesn't have much interest in legends and myths. But it means she always feels slightly bad about giving him criticism, because god, look at that face.
Oh, well. He'll never improve if she isn't honest. And she isn't nasty about it.]
You're going to have to clear up the sections a bit, I'm afraid. You start off clear and defined, but it starts to muddle a bit once you get into various legends concerning it.
[She hefts her bag as she says it, nodding towards the door: come along.]
You want want to focus on talking about the general different kinds of energies first, before you get into the more personalized bits.