CHARACTER: Wheatley
CANON: Portal


AU NAME: …Wheatley. He has a first name but it’s embarrassing so don’t ask him about it.
AU AGE: 32
AU OCCUPATION: Programmer
BLURB:

Painfully British thirty-two year exercise in extreme mediocrity.

Muddled his way through Generic Mirror-America East Coast State University and fumbled his way into work visas and a green card. He’s bounced around a few tech firms between then and now. Currently planning on him having been in Recollé for about a year.

Had a reputation in University for a so-insane-it-has-to-be-good programming style that was swiftly uncovered as mostly just insane. He’s got a tendency to pitch great ideas that eventually suffer from disastrous implementation, so he’s learned how to keep his head down and truck along in the interest of holding down a job. But GOSH wouldn’t it be great if people learned to recognize his GENIUS??

Too bad he is bumbling, tactless, absent-minded, and generally lacking in attention span. Incredibly high-strung. Eccentric. Never, ever, ever shuts up (but at least his accent is nice). He’s That Guy.

Somewhere under that charming (???), hapless exterior is a potentially crippling inferiority complex and a burning desire to be taken seriously, but don’t pay attention to that. It’s fine. He’s absolutely fine.

Fancies himself something of a hacker. He’s not half bad.

Pasty, awkward, ginger nerd in argyle.

Rides a moped.

Also, argyle.

No I’m serious he’s godawful.

LOOKING FOR: Friends, co-workers, tech-types, anyone really! He’ll teach you how to computer. Also perhaps looking for other eventual robot-types or nonhumans for some good old fashioned commiseration.
OPTIONAL ENABLE ME: PRETTY SURE I’ll try and toss an app in, but, ya know. If you want to come say things to me I’m not gonna object.