Well, I don't have any powers, no clones, to my knowledge I have no troubles with the law, and I obviously do have the app now.

[...]

My name is Arthur Crowe. I live alone; should you need somewhere to pass out without there being anything too aggressively strange occurring, and if you do your best to not burn my apartment down, I can offer you somewhere for the night. It's the couch, but it's better than nothing. Just enough to get you back on your feet, so you don't die doing...whatever it is you're doing.