(au workshop post here but long story short, akutagawa here is a famous japanese idol; he hasn't been living here in recollé for long, so please enjoy either an initial meeting or another random sighting with your local angry superstar♥ )
II [ against his survival instincts, akutagawa decided to work alone for as long as possible before Something Terrible suddenly happened, which he knew it would. thankfully, his favorite color isn't as commonly found around a city as one would think. his efforts have mostly been confined to small details on signs, plants, and the occasional object he always thought should be red, but unfortunately never was.
fire hydrants aren't even red anymore, but that seems to have slipped akutagawa's mind; this proves fatal, because after a few unenthusiastic swipes with his annoying brush, the stupid fire hydrant decides to sprout a trio of bloodshot eyes, a few rows of teeth, and the most unpleasant pair of humanoid-looking feet imaginable.
akutagawa doesn't really fuck with killer fire hydrants overcome with the power of eldritch, so with a look of disgust, he gives the thing a solid kick when it advances upon him. despite its density, it does go rolling, and unfortunately...it's...towards you... oops! ]
III [ well, that was an ordeal, but akutagawa has managed to work out a system with his temperamental brush, and it's willing to let him enter places carrying food without harassing him. food needs to be colored too but akutagawa isn't going to complain......
so, wherever you are-- maybe you're checking the produce for quality at the grocery store, or you're mulling over what to order at a bakery, or you're just existing somewhere with food in the vicinity; wherever you are, as you're browsing your phone, you somehow make it onto stan twitter. maybe you're an idol fan? you think the memes are funny? That mutual just happened to retweet the horrible, horrible post you're about to see?
y i k e s ! whether it's funny or relatable or by pure accident, you hit that like button like it owes you money. right after doing this, you look up just in time to see the object of this particular akutagawaP's affections, aka akutagawa, standing quietly near your side.
akutagawa glances at your phone's screen before his gaze flickers back up to you with an expression that emanates disgust and disapproval despite its relative flatness. you should...probably say something... unless you're fine with him thinking you're a sicko who wants him to gore your insides. ]
BONUS [ TODAY SUCKS AND NOW THIS. god, he just wanted to look up a recipe for kale salad, now there are crazy people in his phone. [kanye voice] Now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle. ]
You say that as if there is ever an appropriate time for your failure of a "stabilization process."
I don't recall giving you permission to interfere with my day with this violent melodrama, and I doubt I'm the only person who feels this way. What help could anyone else in this situation possibly be?
[ ugh... as badly as he wants to go off on this dumbass, he knows it's impossible to send your fist through the internet. he's tried. besides, it looks like he's been passed off to some stranger who's probably just as useless as the original messenger was. akutagawa is tempted to huck his phone out the window, but he decides to play along for now. ]
Well? Do you have an explanation?
WILDCARD, OTA [ go bananas, i will roll with anything you come up with, but you can catch me on malamar if you'd like to plan/discuss anything♥ ]
AKUTAGAWA | BSD
II
[ against his survival instincts, akutagawa decided to work alone for as long as possible before Something Terrible suddenly happened, which he knew it would. thankfully, his favorite color isn't as commonly found around a city as one would think. his efforts have mostly been confined to small details on signs, plants, and the occasional object he always thought should be red, but unfortunately never was.
fire hydrants aren't even red anymore, but that seems to have slipped akutagawa's mind; this proves fatal, because after a few unenthusiastic swipes with his annoying brush, the stupid fire hydrant decides to sprout a trio of bloodshot eyes, a few rows of teeth, and the most unpleasant pair of humanoid-looking feet imaginable.
akutagawa doesn't really fuck with killer fire hydrants overcome with the power of eldritch, so with a look of disgust, he gives the thing a solid kick when it advances upon him. despite its density, it does go rolling, and unfortunately...it's...towards you... oops! ]
III
[ well, that was an ordeal, but akutagawa has managed to work out a system with his temperamental brush, and it's willing to let him enter places carrying food without harassing him. food needs to be colored too but akutagawa isn't going to complain......
so, wherever you are-- maybe you're checking the produce for quality at the grocery store, or you're mulling over what to order at a bakery, or you're just existing somewhere with food in the vicinity; wherever you are, as you're browsing your phone, you somehow make it onto stan twitter. maybe you're an idol fan? you think the memes are funny? That mutual just happened to retweet the horrible, horrible post you're about to see?
y i k e s ! whether it's funny or relatable or by pure accident, you hit that like button like it owes you money. right after doing this, you look up just in time to see the object of this particular akutagawaP's affections, aka akutagawa, standing quietly near your side.
akutagawa glances at your phone's screen before his gaze flickers back up to you with an expression that emanates disgust and disapproval despite its relative flatness. you should...probably say something... unless you're fine with him thinking you're a sicko who wants him to gore your insides. ]
BONUS
[ TODAY SUCKS AND NOW THIS. god, he just wanted to look up a recipe for kale salad, now there are crazy people in his phone. [kanye voice] Now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle. ]
You say that as if there is ever an appropriate time for your failure of a "stabilization process."
I don't recall giving you permission to interfere with my day with this violent melodrama, and I doubt I'm the only person who feels this way. What help could anyone else in this situation possibly be?
[ ugh... as badly as he wants to go off on this dumbass, he knows it's impossible to send your fist through the internet. he's tried. besides, it looks like he's been passed off to some stranger who's probably just as useless as the original messenger was. akutagawa is tempted to huck his phone out the window, but he decides to play along for now. ]
Well? Do you have an explanation?
WILDCARD, OTA
[ go bananas, i will roll with anything you come up with, but you can catch me on