February was such a good month for their CR and I'm eternally grateful for it even though Minato wasn't HAHA I will talk about that later but first- The thought that comes up again and again for Minato as he continued to talk and hang out with Lalli is "He gets me," and somebody understanding him is very rare and he only has a handful of people that are that to him. These are the people that he feels most comfortable around, that he feels most himself and relaxed and at peace- safe and unconcerned as opposed to the constant hypervigilance that he has around so many other people, a stress that makes it be with too many people or for too long. Most of the time, Lalli could follow Minato's thought process even when he doesn't speak a lot or explain himself, and that he takes Minato's words without questioning them or being suspicious of them is a relief, because Minato always feels that need to have an explanation for everything he says and does and Lalli doesn't need that and Minato can let go of yet another constant stress. It felt like he could breathe easily, without worry, and that Lalli was accepting him for who he is, and that who he is is an okay person to be. And being okay is such a relief because it's something he'd been struggling for years.
He liked talking to Lalli. He liked being around Lalli. He liked Lalli. Things were working and they were good and everything was going to be okay-- and then February happened and Minato went OH NO, haha... I think it was something Minato talked to... I think it was Baren... about what he worries most about his personal way of making friends, and it's that as he makes friends and people start to care about him, he starts to worry them and that makes him terrified of losing them or having to cognizant of himself so that he doesn't give people a reason to worry or walk away. And Lalli got to see so much of what Minato kept hidden on the account of never really being around people so they don't realize- they don't directly see or feel his lack of care for his personal health and safety, or his struggles with feeling emotions to the point of being sick, or even less personal things like his lung health or financial situation. The fact that Lalli still stuck with him after that was an immense relief, but it'll never change the thought that he'll see Minato differently from now on, that their friendship can't be the same "being comfortable around each other" because Minato hates having people worry about him and all of that was such a huge reason to worry. He'll learn eventually, maybe, someday, that worrying is caring is what friends do and that rather than scaring people away, sometimes it brings people closer if he'll just let them.
But the good of all of this is the irrefutable truth that there is at least one person out there that values his existence, who hurts in his stead, and- as Sakichi put it- gives Minato value. There's somebody who's seen some of his worst but still likes/loves him regardless, that's something really meaningful to him, and is the sort of thing he wanted to move past before even thinking about relationships, because people liking him when he's happy is a lot different than people liking him when he's upset, and relationships won't work before both people see both sides.
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The thought that comes up again and again for Minato as he continued to talk and hang out with Lalli is "He gets me," and somebody understanding him is very rare and he only has a handful of people that are that to him. These are the people that he feels most comfortable around, that he feels most himself and relaxed and at peace- safe and unconcerned as opposed to the constant hypervigilance that he has around so many other people, a stress that makes it be with too many people or for too long. Most of the time, Lalli could follow Minato's thought process even when he doesn't speak a lot or explain himself, and that he takes Minato's words without questioning them or being suspicious of them is a relief, because Minato always feels that need to have an explanation for everything he says and does and Lalli doesn't need that and Minato can let go of yet another constant stress. It felt like he could breathe easily, without worry, and that Lalli was accepting him for who he is, and that who he is is an okay person to be. And being okay is such a relief because it's something he'd been struggling for years.
He liked talking to Lalli. He liked being around Lalli. He liked Lalli. Things were working and they were good and everything was going to be okay-- and then February happened and Minato went OH NO, haha... I think it was something Minato talked to... I think it was Baren... about what he worries most about his personal way of making friends, and it's that as he makes friends and people start to care about him, he starts to worry them and that makes him terrified of losing them or having to cognizant of himself so that he doesn't give people a reason to worry or walk away. And Lalli got to see so much of what Minato kept hidden on the account of never really being around people so they don't realize- they don't directly see or feel his lack of care for his personal health and safety, or his struggles with feeling emotions to the point of being sick, or even less personal things like his lung health or financial situation. The fact that Lalli still stuck with him after that was an immense relief, but it'll never change the thought that he'll see Minato differently from now on, that their friendship can't be the same "being comfortable around each other" because Minato hates having people worry about him and all of that was such a huge reason to worry. He'll learn eventually, maybe, someday, that worrying is caring is what friends do and that rather than scaring people away, sometimes it brings people closer if he'll just let them.
But the good of all of this is the irrefutable truth that there is at least one person out there that values his existence, who hurts in his stead, and- as Sakichi put it- gives Minato value. There's somebody who's seen some of his worst but still likes/loves him regardless, that's something really meaningful to him, and is the sort of thing he wanted to move past before even thinking about relationships, because people liking him when he's happy is a lot different than people liking him when he's upset, and relationships won't work before both people see both sides.