[It hurts, being held and pushed away at the same time. There's pain from his heart to his gut, and he wants nothing more than to pull away, to just leave. He wants space and time and a way to fix this.]
[But from what Shuji's saying, there isn't a way. He trusts Shuji with his life; he knows Shuji's telling the truth. So all leaving would do would make him feel a little better in the moment and both of them worse in the long run.]
[One of his hands come up to pet the back of Shuji's head. The other still hangs at his side, like a dead thing.]
. . . This fucking sucks, Shu. [He's not crying, not quite. More shocked than anything, so far. There's a tired grin in his voice.] I'm always gonna love you more than anything. You know that, right?
no subject
[But from what Shuji's saying, there isn't a way. He trusts Shuji with his life; he knows Shuji's telling the truth. So all leaving would do would make him feel a little better in the moment and both of them worse in the long run.]
[One of his hands come up to pet the back of Shuji's head. The other still hangs at his side, like a dead thing.]
. . . This fucking sucks, Shu. [He's not crying, not quite. More shocked than anything, so far. There's a tired grin in his voice.] I'm always gonna love you more than anything. You know that, right?