[ He gives a small nod as he relents, deciding that he has gathered enough information from Heigo. The shape of the man's soul is something that he's seen a little of, and he's found it to be something of interest. It is something that he may wish to see more of, even. To Kei, it doesn't matter if the man is part of the app or not, and so he doesn't even check. An interesting person is an interesting person -- is that not so? ]
You're welcome. [ A soft hum. My motivation? ] It is the desire to "do good." I realize that sounds very self-righteous and self-sacrificing, but it is neither of those things. If I could put it into words, I would say that it is placing others before myself without any desire of a reward. In fact, I don't want any reward for my actions because "doing good" does not make me happy.
Indeed, the righteous and the sacrificing can feel something positive in doing for others, but it does not make me happy or unhappy. [ Interlacing his fingers, he rests his hands in his lap as he explains. ] So why do it, right? Because I once lived my life not caring. I live my teenage years not caring about other people and their wants or their wishes or their feelings. Because it didn't mean anything to me. [ He lifts and lowers his shoulders in a dismissive way. ]
It was an immature and thoughtless decision from someone still too young to understand the world. But I lived that way and lived completely alone. I say alone not in terms of people that knew me or people that cared about me, but alone as in my own self. Nothing anyone said or did mattered to me. [ He breathes out slow. ] So I decided that my reasons for doing things should be to "do good." To reward the kindness of society and humanity by giving something back to it, regardless of how it makes me feel.
no subject
[ He gives a small nod as he relents, deciding that he has gathered enough information from Heigo. The shape of the man's soul is something that he's seen a little of, and he's found it to be something of interest. It is something that he may wish to see more of, even. To Kei, it doesn't matter if the man is part of the app or not, and so he doesn't even check. An interesting person is an interesting person -- is that not so? ]
You're welcome. [ A soft hum. My motivation? ] It is the desire to "do good." I realize that sounds very self-righteous and self-sacrificing, but it is neither of those things. If I could put it into words, I would say that it is placing others before myself without any desire of a reward. In fact, I don't want any reward for my actions because "doing good" does not make me happy.
Indeed, the righteous and the sacrificing can feel something positive in doing for others, but it does not make me happy or unhappy. [ Interlacing his fingers, he rests his hands in his lap as he explains. ] So why do it, right? Because I once lived my life not caring. I live my teenage years not caring about other people and their wants or their wishes or their feelings. Because it didn't mean anything to me. [ He lifts and lowers his shoulders in a dismissive way. ]
It was an immature and thoughtless decision from someone still too young to understand the world. But I lived that way and lived completely alone. I say alone not in terms of people that knew me or people that cared about me, but alone as in my own self. Nothing anyone said or did mattered to me. [ He breathes out slow. ] So I decided that my reasons for doing things should be to "do good." To reward the kindness of society and humanity by giving something back to it, regardless of how it makes me feel.