Apparently he's been sipping steadily at his beer while listening to Kei speak, because he's already emptied the glass. Since he's being as authentic as he likes without fear of repercussions, he goes against his stated goal to avoid getting drunk and orders another.
It's attractive, the idea of being completely himself just for an evening, but it's also kind of a conundrum - he's not sure he knows his authentic self anymore.]
I also spend a lot of time living up to ideals and expectations that don't fit me because I can't stand the thought of being seen as a disappointment. Anything else - an asshole, a pathological liar, an egotist - but not a disappointment. [He certainly looks more like his authentic self the more he speaks, in that he appears less harried and tense and more exhausted and deeply, deeply sad.] Then I take out my bitterness about that on people who don't deserve it at all, but usually shoulder the blame anyway.
That's probably the most authentic thing I've ever told anyone.
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Apparently he's been sipping steadily at his beer while listening to Kei speak, because he's already emptied the glass. Since he's being as authentic as he likes without fear of repercussions, he goes against his stated goal to avoid getting drunk and orders another.
It's attractive, the idea of being completely himself just for an evening, but it's also kind of a conundrum - he's not sure he knows his authentic self anymore.]
I also spend a lot of time living up to ideals and expectations that don't fit me because I can't stand the thought of being seen as a disappointment. Anything else - an asshole, a pathological liar, an egotist - but not a disappointment. [He certainly looks more like his authentic self the more he speaks, in that he appears less harried and tense and more exhausted and deeply, deeply sad.] Then I take out my bitterness about that on people who don't deserve it at all, but usually shoulder the blame anyway.
That's probably the most authentic thing I've ever told anyone.